She's Got My Blood Running Cold
by AddiCullen
Summary: Takes place during Breaking Dawn. Jacob POV. While in the park Jacob stumbles upon a strange vampire that claims she can help him. Avelina is a mystery, but Jake doesn't mind. While he searches in her past, Avelina tries to manipulate his future.
1. Why are Vampire my only Social life?

Psst! This story takes place during Breaking Dawn starting off where Jacob is in the park trying to forget about Bella.

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**Chapter 1. Why have Vampires become my only social life?  
**

I was watching Lizzie walk away, almost drowning in my depression. I bent down to unlock the cars so I could go back…to the Cullens. God, that was so painful to even think! As I straightened up again I froze as a strange yet familiar burning, icy scent filled my nostrils. As always, my first reaction was gagging disgust.

Then I remembered what that smell meant.

_Great,_ I thought, _what could make this _glorious_ day any better than a vampire attack?_ In truth, I would have enjoyed a fight. Oh the satisfaction of tearing apart the icy hard body between my teeth to get rid of the frustration. My whole body was shaking so violently even I was surprised that I could still see without the shapes blending together. I spun, sniffing and searching for the source of the revolting scent. Oddly, I didn't have to look hard, because I heard someone call out to me.

"Hey! Jacob Black!" An unfamiliar female voice called. I looked around and saw a beautiful young woman sitting on a park bench, waving at me. Her reddish brown hair hung by her shoulders in tight ringlets, held back by a black headband. Judging from where I stood I guessed she would have been about a head shorter than me, maybe more. Her heart-shaped face was friendly under flawless white skin. For a moment I hoped she didn't notice I was staring at her, she was so beautiful. Too beautiful…

Vampire!

I gritted my teeth. Oh if I weren't in public she wouldn't dare wave me down or give me that innocent smile! I was almost too angry to wonder why the _hell_ she would do that…and how the _hell_ she knew my name.

She stood up (I was spot on about her height) and took a few steps toward me, She was only 10 yards away.

Torture. Why? Why now? Why here? I couldn't even kill her, that would scare people, not to mention expose myself. But she was so close! I couldn't stand to have a bloodsucker right in my grasps! I lurched forward a step before catching myself. She just smiled at me maddeningly.

"Calm down?" She advised me. Calm down? Was she freaking nuts? Calm down? CALM DOWN? I swear I almost shouted the words in her face. "Will you come sit with me?" She asked sweetly, motioning to the bench she had just left. I just stared at her… well, glared is a better word. Death glare, daggers, go to hell and burn, leave me the hell alone! So on so forth.

"Ex…Excuse me?" I growled between gritted teeth.

"I asked you," She repeated slowly, filthy bloodsucker must have thought I was retarded or something, "If you would come and sit with me." She noted my shaking body and said, "Calm down."

"Don't you…how could…I would…you little…" I gasped. Wow, maybe I was retarded. How hard is it to form a simple sentence? Too hard for me, apparently.

The Vampire just watched me with raised eyebrows. Suddenly she was very close, her stench was overwhelming and she was talking very quickly and very quietly.

"You know what I am." She stated blandly, "I know you too Jacob Black."

"But you don't!" I snapped loudly. She shushed me. She _shushed_ me? Oh I was liking this girl less and less by the second. I continued anyway, "You don't know that I'm…"

"A werewolf?" She interrupted.

"Well you can smell me." I said stubbornly. She laughed, her soprano voice causing a few passing guys to turn their heads and stare. Then they saw me a took off, I didn't even want to _know_ what I looked like at that moment.

"I know a _bit_ more than that." She said, the laugh still in her voice.

"Well excuse _me_." I muttered, "You wanna fight? You afraid because I caught you on your lunch trip? Hm? Because I'll take you…" She didn't let me finish this time either, but her face was blank.

"Jacob." She interrupted me, "Look at my eyes." Her eyes were narrowed, I knew that much, I had to admit I was avoiding her gaze on purpose. "Jacob." She said sharply, "Look at me." I did. The was glaring at me now, not murderously, but more like she was annoyed with me. That much I could read in her eyes…her amber eyes.

Cullen eyes.

Well _damn_! Nothing I could do about that then.

"I'm sorry." I said, it was an apology but I knew she could tell that I really _wasn't_ sorry. "Are you a relative to the Cullens or something?"

"Cullens?" She repeated blankly.

"Yeah," I said slowly, this time acting like she was the retard, "The coven of Vampires that live near here?"

"Vampires live near here?" She repeated. Before I could ask her why she was talking like a freaking parrot I stopped.

Oops.

Why was I so stupid? Just assume this freak of nature is a _friendly_ vampire. Where did that get you before, Jacob? It…got me… here.

Crap.

"I'm sorry." I said quickly, "Forget I said anything." I had to get out of here! Unfortunately, she grabbed my arm before I could escape. Ah! Her skin, so icy it burned so disgusting. The feel of it!

She let go as soon as I turned to let her have. She then surprised me by holding out her hand.

"I'm Avelina." She said amiably. I looked at her outstretched hand suspiciously.

"You'll forgive me." I said coldly. She…Avelina…giggled again.

"Are you calmer?" She asked, noting that I was no longer shaking with rage. Actually, it was the first I noticed it too.

"Yea." I said truthfully, very confused. Avelina motioned to the bench. Feeling like I had no choice I sat down. She hesitated at the bench, taking in my appearance.

"Your clothing choice is very…interesting." She said with a smile. I looked down. Oh yeah. The leech's (Emmet's) cloths didn't quite fit right. Plus I wasn't wearing any shoes. I must've looked like a real mess. But it also felt weird, like she was going out of her way to be nice to me. Even complimenting my sad excuse for body coverage. It also made me feel a bit embarrassed. I hadn't noticed what she was wearing at all. It felt like good manners to notice now.

Avelina was wearing a black, knee-length gauze skirt that swished at her every movement, her feet were covered by black cowboy boots. Avelina's shirt was long-sleeved and perfectly white. Her chest and back were covered to the section just above the hips were covered by a stylish black business vest with a V-neck and two buttons holding the front together. She wore no jewelry.

I looked away. Suddenly feeling nervous. Did she notice me looking at her? Was I staring too long?

Stupid bloodsucker.

Another group of older guys walked past, gaping at Avelina's flawless appearance. Why? Because they were free to look at a pretty girl. They didn't have to worry about Vampires and werewolves and curses and magic and imprinting and rivalry and all this other crap I had to put up with. What I wouldn't give to be normal. Though, admittedly, I did like the way those guys looked at me when they spotted me sitting next to her. Jealous and longing. They didn't understand that they _shouldn't_ want to be me. No matter how many vamp chicks it gets you.

Avelina sat down next to me with another of those pretty little giggles of hers.

"How did you know my name?" I asked her. She looked at me, smiling breezily.

"I guess things like that are a bit of a talent of mine."

"A talent?" I repeated. "Oh. One of those Vampire gifts?" "Yes." She didn't elaborate. We sat there for several minutes, I was looking at her expectantly, annoyed that she wasn't explaining herself. It took so little to set me off these days. Avelina was looking out over the park distractedly.

"And?" I asked impatiently, startling her out of her trance, "What is that talent."

"Well…" Avelina said uncomfortably, I became suspicious at her hesitation. Why wouldn't she tell me? "My talent…or so I've been told….is knowing when people need me." She was looking at me like she was concentrating really hard. It was very unnerving, I started to squirm in my seat.

"I guess you were wrong then." I said, my agitation returning, "I don't need you. I don't need any of this. Especially not now." Seriously. Hadn't the universe given me enough to deal with without this…this mystical psychic leech analyzing me. I didn't even know what kept me from phasing on the spot.

Except that I was calm. Here I sat, not a foot away from a vampire, my enemy, and not even my hands were shaking with vampire tremors. I stood.

"Sorry." I said again, why was I saying that so much? "But I have to go now." Oh yeah, that's right. I did have to go. Back to my own personal hell. At least I had plenty of people to keep me company. I thought of Seth, Leah, Bella….Edward.

Okay, so thinking about that company didn't make me feel any better. Although it did seem to make it ten times worse. In all honesty I probably could have stayed on that bench next to the bloodsucker…Avelina…all day. I didn't want to go back. Ever. But I had to. With I sigh I turned and took a step toward the car. Only to find that Avelina was there, blocking me. Her thin white fingers were all laced together and she was look at me with this pathetic, begging look in her amber eyes.

"Jacob." She said quietly. Silently, I tried to walk around her. God, she was quick! Every time I took a step there she was, still looking at me with that same puppy dog look. "Jacob please. I think I can help you."

"I don't think so." I told her firmly. No one could help me. My hands were starting to shake. What was worse, I didn't really want to fight Avelina. "Get out of my way." I said dangerously. Looking at me desperately, she finally stepped aside.

I bolted for the car, almost like running for my life. I had already started the engine when I noticed that Avelina was looking in my passenger side window. I rushed to put it up, but it was hard with my hands still shaking.

"Don't give up." She said seriously, "Don't settle for less than you deserve, don't sell yourself short and never underestimate your friends."

"Great." I barked, "Will you leave me alone now?" Avelina just smiled and shook her head.

"Dear, dear Jacob Black." Now I felt like she was addressing me like a 3-year-old. It was almost worse than when she thought I was retarded. "I haven't finished helping you yet.

"I don't need your help!" I shouted. She smiled. Argh! I was pretty sure that at that point, I hated that smile.

"Goodbye. Jacob Black." She said sweetly, stepping away from the car. Finally! I took off like a bat outta hell. Crazy bloodsucker.

Avelina, that is.

**Please review! I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should continue with this!  
**


	2. I just remembered why I hate Vampires

I don't own twilight. This is where I start to stray from the book timing and plot.

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**2. I just now remember why I hate Vampires  
**

Somehow I managed to get back to the house. When I got there, Edward was waiting for me in the garage. I sighed, giving up. He knew exactly how much I didn't want to be around him, nothing I could say or do could change that. Might as well go talk to him and make him think I'm listening.

After talking to Edward (more like being scolded, really) I went in to talk to Bella. Yeah, now _there _was a good idea. Just being near her lately was enough to drive me suicidal. Needless to say I was not in a good mood when I went back outside and phased.

Seth and Leah barely noticed my foul mood. I guess that must have been my natural state. How pathetic.

_Got that right_ I heard Leah comment. She hadn't given me such a rude statement since we left the pack. Though sometimes I supposed she just couldn't help herself. _Where did you go?_ Leah asked in a kinder tone. I ran out to go and meet them.

_The park._ I said simply, trying very hard not to think about the details. Way too weird. I wasn't very far from them now, but it was really annoying trying to go toward the curiosity in their thoughts. They wanted to know why I left though they, quite wisely, didn't let the word form in their thoughts. I sighed aloud, finally catching up to them. They threw me a few sidelong glances as I pulled up next to them. Instead of answering outright I let my mind lull over the cause for my sudden breakdown. Edward with his hand on Bella's stomach, the look on his face when he heard that…thing's thoughts. The betrayal I felt when he turned on me as I should have known he would.

_That's what you get for trusting a bloodsucker _Leah thought, shaking her big gray head. I growled at her. Hating to admit that she was right. God, I hate it when she's right.

_I don't know…_ Seth said hesitantly, _maybe it's a good thing. Now that Edward understands the baby _I growled when he said the word 'baby' but he ignored me _maybe it'll be safer. Maybe Bella will be alright._ I thought about what Edward said in the garage about how he thought she could survive. Well, I thought I could count on him before. I was wrong.

_Fat chance_ I informed him sorrowfully. This could not get worse. Or at least, that's what I thought until I remembered the rest of the conversation I just had with Edward. "If you can't or won't control Leah…"

_Save it._ Leah snapped, _I already got enough grief for that._

_Then why did you do it?_ I asked. She scoffed and snarled.

_Well _excuse _me for defending you, mighty Alpha!_

_Is that_ _what you were doing?_

_You know it is! Dammit Jacob! I went into a house of filthy bloodsuckers and braved their wrath to stick up for you. _

_I know. _I said quickly, _But…_

_But? _She prompted angrily.

_You upset Bella… _I couldn't even continue the annoyance and rage radiated from her so strong that I stumbled.

_Of course! Why should I upset _Bella_!?! After all it's not like she's ever done anything that would HURT YOU! _I winced. She was right, of course. But just because Bella didn't treat me the best it didn't give her an excuse to- _Like HELL it doesn't! _Leah interrupted. _Jacob, when will you realize this girl isn't worth it? _I wish I knew. _When will you move on? _I really wish I knew that one. _You've already destroyed you life for this girl that DOESN'T want you._

_Shut up Leah! _Seth and I shouted at the same time.

_No. _Leah said stubbornly, _Jacob has to hear me. You HAVE to hear this. _She. Doesn't. Want. You. She. Will. Never. Want. You. _Why is that so hard to get? _

_Hypocrite! _I barked. _Why haven't _you _moved on Leah? Why are _you _still sighing over Sam when he doesn't. Want. You. _I shouldn't have been surprised by her hurricane of a response. It was different. And I knew that. Leah was trying so hard to get over this. She wanted to move on. She left the pack, her home, everything to forget him. And what was I doing?

Squat.

I let her go on until she was finished. I deserved it. And Leah definitely needed another vent for her anger.

_Jake. Get some sleep._ Seth advised. _It's your turn_. Not to mention Leah was probably two breaths away from taking my head off altogether. I curled up and closed my eyes.

I hadn't been asleep long when howls alerted me. I lurched to my feet.

_What's going on?_ I asked automatically.

_Vampire _Seth answered.

_I hope we get to kill this one. _Leah thought, _It's been so long and I could really use a vampire shredding._

Couldn't we all.

_Don't do anything before I get there._ I warned them. I caught up to them in a matter of minutes. They had already cornered the vampire. I assessed quickly.

Female, small, alone, she wasn't even braced for a fight. She was pretty. Her reddish brown hair hung in ringlets…

Avelina.

_C__rap! _I thought angrily, _Don't touch her. Don't touch her. _

_What?_ Seth asked.

_Are you crazy? _Leah demanded at the same time.

_Yeah. Probably, back off. _I started to think about meeting Avelina in the park, sitting next to her, talking to her…

_Gag me._ Leah snorted, _Jacob why? She's a vampire…why would you..?_

_She's on our side Leah._

_On our side!? _ Poor Leah, I probably just pushed her over the breaking point.. She crouched all the way to the ground, her gray body pushed as close to the dirt as she could get it to. Her ears pulled back and she growled uncontrollably.

Avelina didn't seem to notice, though. She was just looking straight at me with a very calm expression. When I met her eyes she smiled. That smile.

Why was I keeping her alive? I was hating that smile. Hate hate hate hate.

_Well, you hate everything lately, man._ Seth reminded me. I guess so. But this was different. He'd hate it too if he had been there. I immediately blocked out his doubts of that statement. I checked my hind leg, I had my pants tied with elastic there.

_Guys, I'm gonna phase and talk to her._ I told Seth and Leah. Leah was nearly beside herself.

_I'm sorry, you're what!? _She shrieked. _Phasing? In front of a vampire!?_

_Pretty much, yeah,_

_Jacob! _Too late. I already dashed into some bushes and phased to my human form. I stepped out of the bushes as soon as my pants were on. Ignoring the astounded stares I got from Seth and Leah I walked right up until I was standing a few yards away from Avelina. I crossed my arms and raised by eyebrows. She was still smiling.

"Well?" I said when she didn't say anything, "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." She replied simply. I rolled my eyes.

"Well you found me. What do you want?"

"I already told you. I want to help." Avelina said, still smiling, always smiling. I glared at her.

"And _I _already told _you_…"

"That you don't need help." Avelina finished for me, sounding a little bit annoyed. Why didn't she think I could finish a sentence? Why did she always have to interrupt me like that? "But you're wrong." Avelina continued, "You need me."

"Do not." I argued. She raised one eyebrow. Probably wondering why I was arguing with her like a toddler would. I cleared my throat. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" I asked wearily.

"Because I know what's good for you." She was smiling again. "And I promise that I _can _help if you let me."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"Not a chance."

I sighed. What else could I do? Avelina's smile widened, sensing victory. I nearly changed my mind.

"Hold on." I told her, running back to the bushes to phase.

_Are you happy now?_ Leah asked grumpily as soon as I stood as a wolf again. _You've gotten us all tailed by a weird stalker vampire talking nonsense. I don't trust her._

_I do._ I said firmly. I surprised myself. If I was standing out in human form talking to Avelina and she asked if I trusted her I would have said no. I guess my thoughts were just…running away from me or something.

_I wish there was a way we could check. To see if she's trustworthy…._ Seth suggested sorrowfully.

_There is._ I said suddenly. Seth and Leah both looked at me. _We should take her to Edward and the others see what they think. _

Leah whimpered for a moments, not wanting to go near the Cullen's house.

_You don't have to come._ I told her softly, hoping she wouldn't stay mad at me. We'd been getting along so well. _You can keep running the perimeter. _

_Thanks._ She said sincerely, thankfully. And she took off into the trees.

Avelina turned to watch her go. Smiling and giving her a sardonic wave as she disappeared. Seth and I still stared at her for a second, uncomfortably. That was kinda weird….

I turned toward the Cullen's house and signaled Avelina to follow. She sped along my left side (since Seth was on my right) all the way through the long forest.

_Okay. _I told Seth when we were getting close. _From here on out don't think about Avelina at all. Call Edward out. _

Edward was waiting on the front porch by the time we got there. He watched us for a moment before his eyes narrowed in on Avelina. With my nose, I pushed her in the back, nudging her forward a few steps. She stood there with her hands clasped in front of her and her eyes nearly closed, looking at the ground. Waiting for Edward's judgment.

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	3. Am I still breathing?

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**Chapter 3. Am I still breathing or did I forget to take the air in?  
**

Edward and Avelina stood absolutely still for several very long minutes. I shifted uneasily, not able to tell a single thought that Edward or Avelina were thinking. Seth sat down, completely at ease.

I was beginning to worry. What did Edward see in Avelina's mind? Was I right about her? Was I horribly wrong? Crap. She was evil, wasn't she? I could sense it now, she was just trailing me along like the fool I was.

_Chill, man_ Seth advised. _You're working yourself up. _Yeah. Yeah, probably. Maybe. Wait, was she…blocking him or something? Did she know about his powers? It kinda looked like it. I was standing there, stressing out for over 15 minutes before something happened.

To my immense surprise, Avelina moved first. Very slowly, she raised her head, took a step forward and held her hand out straight in front of her. Stretched her fingers out in an open gesture to Edward. Edward, also in an annoying slow state, stepped down from the porch and walked until he was only have a foot away from Avelina.

I was holding my breath with tension.

With a final step Edward reached forward and pulled Avelina into a hug.

I was stunned. I heard Seth echo my wonder. It wasn't a weird, awkward kind of hug either. It was that grateful, awkward for everyone else in the room kind of hug.

Psh. Vampires.

"Avelina." Edward said in a friendly, disbelieving tone, pulling back to look at her. She smiled. My mouth dropped open in awe. That wasn't the smile I hated so much. What was going on?

"Edward!" She said jubilantly. I only wasted a second wondering how she knew his name, then I remembered how she'd known my name too. And, of course, Edward was a mind reader.

"Would you like to come inside?" Edward asked her. Avelina leaned around him and peered at the door, cocking her head to the side. Her white hands were still on his shoulders, his hand resting on her hips.

"What's going on?" She asked lightly. I tilted my head too, listening to what she heard. Bella's odd heartbeat, her labored breathing. At that moment Rosalie asked Bella if she needed anything. Bella just panted a couple times and declined.

"Well…" Edward said awkwardly, "My wife is expecting."

"Pardon?" Avelina asked, raising her eyebrows slightly, "Your wife is expecting? Expecting what? A baby?" Edward nodded stonily. Avelina looked kinda stunned, she still looked pleasant though. Edward, on the other hand, looked extremely uncomfortable. Avelina pulled back the tiniest bit. It looked like she was going to pull away from him but Edward didn't move at all, his hands were still on her hips. Her palms left his shoulders until only the tips of her fingers touched him. "How?" Avelina asked softly. Edward raised his eyebrows, too. Avelina giggled. Seth, who hadn't heard her laugh before, became off balanced.

_Steady kid_ I told him.

_She's pretty_ He said dazedly.

_Snap out of it_ I warned him

_I was just surprised is all._

_Too bad she stinks. _I pointed out grumpily.

_Oh yeah. Vampire. Right. _He responded gloomily. I almost laughed.

"I meant…" Avelina tried to corrects herself, still giggling.

"I know what you mean." Edward assured her.

"Then how?" Avelina repeated, serious again.

"I'm not sure." He whispered.

"Can I meet her?" Avelina asked enthusiastically, then tilted her head. "Them?" She added in surprise, hearing the other Cullens talking and moving in the house. "Who's in there?"

How did she know Edward without knowing the other Cullens? They seemed like friends. It seemed like they had already known each other before I dropped Avelina in front of him.

"My family." Edward said softly. Avelina gave in a perplexed look. "My adoptive family." He clarified, "And Bella., my wife." Now Avelina glanced at Seth and me. Edward shrugged. "Long story." Jerk. He gave me a quick smile before turning back to Avelina.

"May I meet them?" She asked tentatively. Edward nodded, dropping his hands. As he turned for the front door Avelina asked after him. "You're married?" He froze, then turned extremely slowly.

"Yes." His eyes were proud, but he still seemed a bit awkward. Avelina's face was unreadable. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Edward demanded. Avelina shook her head and smiled.

"I guess I just never thought you the type is all." She said with an amiable shrug.

"Really?" He said. He seemed surprised.

"Yeah."

"Huh." Edward looked at her thoughtfully, "Why?"

"I don't know. You just always seemed so…independent and scared."

"Scared?" He was definitely surprised this time. "Scared of what?"

"People." Avelina said simply, "Loss, understandably. Relationships."

_How observant of her, _I grumbled to Seth.

_I hadn't noticed._ Seth thought.

_Neither had I. _

"Scared?" Edward repeated again. Avelina nodded. Now that I gave a moment it did seem kind of weird. Edward afraid of Bella. Crazy.

"Your family?" Avelina asked.

"Oh. Right. Follow me." He lead her inside. Seth and I moved over and squatted to peer into the living room window. Bella was on the couch, she waved at us. Blondie was sitting in one of the chairs. So were Carlisle and Esme. Alice was curled up on the floor in front of the couch. We saw Edward enter, Avelina at his elbow. "Everyone." He said to get their attention. I saw Bella smile before even look at him, she turned her head.

Then her eyes zeroed in on Avelina. That little crease between her eyebrows puckered, her smile faded.

"This is my old friend, Avelina." He presented, she curtsied. I wondered how long they would have been friends for the rest of the Cullens not to know about her. "Avelina, this is my family. My parents, Carlisle and Esme. My sisters, Alice. And my wife, Bella. My brothers aren't around right now but you'll meet them soon enough." Did that mean she was staying? They all greeted her kindly, Esme even stood to give her a hug. "Why don't you sit?" Edward suggested. Avelina smiled.

What was Edward up to? After the weird way he had been acting the last few days I didn't think he would allow something like this.

The only open seat was on the couch next to Bella.


	4. Yeah, that's not Awkward at all

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**4. Yeah, that's not Awkward at all  
**

"So, Avelina. You're an old friend of Edward's?" Carlisle asked kindly. I wondered how long ago they must have known each other if _Carlisle_ didn't know her. Didn't Carlisle know Edward since before he was a vampire?

Before he was a vampire….

"Yes." Avelina answered said, directing a smile Edward. What happened to that smile she always used when she was talking to me? The obnoxious, superior one? Not that I was complaining….I liked this smile a lot better. "We go way back." Avelina continued.

"I wish Edward would have told us you were coming, we'd have a proper reception for you." Esme said concernedly.

"Oh, Edward didn't know I was coming." Avelina assured her, "I didn't even know I was coming. I didn't even know you guys were here."

"Then what are you doing here? Begging you're pardon." Carlisle asked, "How did you find us?"

"Oh I didn't. You see, I was just looking for Jacob." They all froze for a moment, eyes darting to me, then back to Avelina. Except Bella. Her eyes flew to mine and didn't move. It was the strangest look she gave me. Accusing, surprised, suspicious all at once. I immediately put a blank expression on my face.

"Why were you looking for Jacob?" Edward asked in surprise. I thought he'd know, being a mind reader and all.

"I figured he could use some help." Avelina stated blandly. I rolled my eyes, she giggled. Everyone in the room stared at her in surprise, even for a vampire she had a beautiful laugh.

"Maybe that's why I couldn't see you coming." Alice said, glaring at Bella's bulging stomach, "Then again I've been preoccupied lately." Bella smiled apologetically.

"Why does Jacob need your help?" Bella asked suddenly, rather sharply.

"I met him at the park. This girl was talking to him…" Avelina started. She was talking about Lizzie, I sank a little lower in embarrassment.

_Seems like you freaked her out more than a little bit._ Seth laughed inwardly, catching the afternoon's mental pictures running through my head. I growled, everyone in the living room stared at me.

"They were talking about a different subject." Edward said in my defense. Was he trying to make things up to me? He was far from forgiven. Edward gave me an understanding look.

"Anyway," Avelina continued, "I could tell that he was…less than content with his present situation. Whatever that may be…" She said this with an innocent tone, but I noticed her eyes strayed to Bella before continuing, "I figured he could use a friend."

"He has friends." Bella grumbled.

"From our conversation it didn't seem like they were doing a lot of good," Avelina shrugged, "When I talked to him it seemed like he didn't have anyone else to talk to, anyone who would listen to him." Now there was no doubt that her words were directed at Bella. Bella turned and looked at Edward with a hurt expression. To my surprise (and obviously Bella's too) he met her gaze evenly with no apology, no protection, nothing. Then she turned to look at me with the same expression. She was expecting protection. She was expecting someone to stop Avelina, to tell her how wonderful Bella was. She was expecting her confidence to be restored. She'd gotten so used to adoration that Avelina's less-than-sympathetic attitude stung her. I gave her the same look Edward gave her. I had the feeling that a healthy dose of Avelina was precisely what Bella needed. Finally Bella turned back to Avelina, a scowl on her face.

"He has friends." Bella repeated stubbornly.

"Who?" Avelina challenged.

"Me." Bella stuck her chin out. Avelina raised her eyebrows.

"But, stop me if I'm wrong, I thought _you_ were the reason Jacob had to leave his home. To protect you? I thought you were the reason he's been pretty much an angry lunatic for the past few months. I thought _you _were the one who endangered all of your friends and family for some selfish reason?"

"It's not selfish." Bella said weakly, her hand flew to her stomach.

"It is. If you having this thing is worth more than your life. Jacob's life, Edward's life, Seth's, Alice's, everyone's."

"I don't. Everything will be okay." Bella demurred.

"They wouldn't stand a chance if the pack comes." Avelina said flatly.

"They're outnumbered." Bella cried, "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true. They can help but when it comes do you think Jake, Seth, and Leah would be able to take down their brothers?" Avelina asked. Huh. She called me Jake.

_Is _that _all you can think about?_ Seth demanded.

_I was just caught off guard is all. I already know everything she's saying. No news, bro. _I answered. He grumbled in acceptance.

"And of course the vampire wouldn't last against werewolves." Avelina continued.

"What makes you say that?" Now it was Alice who spoke with a curious, in no way offended voice.

"Killing vampires is what werewolves were made for." Avelina said. Once again all eyes were on Seth and me, we nodded affirmation. Finally Bella was silent, that same hurt expression on her face. Avelina stood. "Hey Edward, can I talk to you for a sec? And Jacob?" Edward nodded. I glared at him, maybe I didn't want to talk to her again. He just smirked at me. Edward and Avelina walked out the front door.

"Change into your human form and meet us, we'll be about a quarter of a mile out that way." Edward said. He pointed to his left. I nodded and ran off to shift.

When I had pants on I went looking for them, it wasn't so hard, I just had to follow my nose.

"Well you can't blame me for being surprised." Avelina was saying innocently.

"And I can't be surprised?" Edward asked tensely. I walked straight up to them.

"Is there where you guys tell me what the hell's going on here?" I asked bluntly.

"I think we _all_ have questions." Edward said, his jaw locked.

"Yeah." Avelina said, "Like how you're alive? Like how you're _married_? _And _having a baby?"

"What about you? You're supposed to be dead too. And why were you looking for Jacob?"

"Oh come _on _you guys!" I complained, "How about starting at the beginning to fill me in?"

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	5. Finally! A few answers please!

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**4. Finally, a few answers please!  
**

"In answer to a lot of your questions I've known Avelina practically since birth." Edward told me, "Human birth." I wouldn't really call vampirism birth. Edward nodded.

"You see Jake," Avelina continued for Edward, she called me Jake again, "I had a lot of…problems growing up. Whenever I needed help, I counted on Edward." Edward looked down guiltily. "I always needed to hide."

"So you guys were…?" I asked uncomprehendingly.

"Friends." Edward said firmly, "Very best friends." He smiled at Avelina, she returned it.

"Okay, so what was this about everyone being dead?" I asked, figuring they wouldn't give me any more details. They turned to each other, eyes sad.

"I looked you up after…" Avelina said hesitantly, "After I changed. I looked for you and everything I found said you died of the fever."

"That was when Carlisle changed me." Edward said softly, "I looked too. You drowned, it said so."

"I did." Avelina murmured, "When my parents took me across the ocean, on our way to Europe, I jumped out of the boat. They assumed I drowned, since I never learned how to swim."

"Then what happened?" Edward asked.

"I drowned. Or nearly did. Another boat found me. A man helped me out of the water and handed me a blanket. I was so cold from the water I didn't notice how icy his hands were. And my brain was so waterlogged I couldn't think straight of anything, I didn't see how white his skin was…or how red his eyes were. How hungry they were." I winced. Avelina threw me an appreciative smile.

"So then why would he change you?" I asked.

"He didn't mean to. He got as far as a bite when a large cruise boat came by. He jumped back so no one would see him and I rolled off the boat platform. He took off like a bat outta hell when I started screaming for help. They helped me aboard but I couldn't stop screaming. I was…burning…changing. They put me in a small wooden room with a doctor. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, he just guessed I was reacting to my 'near death experience'. I told him it _was _my death. I was dying, he didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was happening of course, I hollered and hollered for it to stop. I was so angry at that poor man for not helping me. Of course, now I know that he couldn't have. Then it stopped. I finally opened my eyes and looked around. The doctor that had been staying with me for those few days scrambled backward. I moved forward, wanting to know what was wrong. I didn't notice that I was no longer breathing. But he had noticed how bright my blood red eyes had become. He was screaming, fumbling with the doorknob. I took a breath, about to ask him what was wrong. Then I realized…how _good_ he smelled."

I really didn't want to here this part, I frowned, squinted and tried to lull my mind out of concentration. Edward reflexively turned his head toward me at the change in direction of my thoughts. Although the movement was impeccably small and fast, Avelina saw it. She looked at me until I reluctantly met her eyes. Her golden eyes, that comforted me a little bit. She looked hurt, and guilty, when she looked at me.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, "I know now how wrong that was of me. But at the time, I couldn't control myself." She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "After, I got off the boat as soon as possible, before I saw anyone else. His death was in the newspapers. I stayed nearby and read it. I even went to his funeral. He had a wife, an intelligent young woman. He had two sons, one was very near adult hood, he would have to take care of his family now. The other one was very small. And because of me he would never know his father. The guilt of murder made human blood undesirable for me."

I was staring at her. For a vampire that sounded…I dunno…reasonable. Acceptable.

"But, then what did you do?" Edward asked, "After that, where did you go?" Avelina didn't answer, her eyes glazed over. I could tell by the confused, frustrated way that Edward watched her that she was blocking him. I knew the feeling, thinking of anything and everything to keep your mind free from his scrutiny. "Avelina?" He repeated softly. She still didn't answer, she didn't move. "I want to know what happened."

"You know what happened." Avelina said sharply, "I became a vampire. It's your turn to explain something for me." Edward sighed and leaned up against a tree.

"You want to know about Bella?" He asked. She nodded. "I met her at school. A couple years ago she moved here to live with her father, and had to sit next to me in biology."

"School?" Avelina repeated, amused, "All these years and you're still in school?"

"The younger we are, the longer we can stay in one place. We didn't really like roaming."

"Ah. For a family that makes sense. Continue."

"Anyway. At first it was very…hard. You may have noticed Bella's…appeal…bloodwise." Edward hesitated. I shifted my weight awkwardly. If they were gonna start talking about how good Bella would taste… "It was worse for me than to anyone else. And I couldn't read her mind."

"Huh?" Avelina asked.

"Somehow she can keep her mind safe. When we were in Italy we found that any vampire gift that dealt with the mind, she was safe from. Aro couldn't see her thoughts either, Jane couldn't hurt her."

"Why did you bring a human to see them?" Avelina demanded.

"I didn't." Edward said, his voice dead, "She came to find me. It's kind of a long story and I don't want to talk about it right now…we don't have the time."

"So, you what? You married her because you couldn't read her mind and she smelled good?" Avelina asked.

"No."

"Why, then?"

"Because I love her." Awkward. Why did I have to be here for this?

"And because Bella is a disaster magnet." I added. Avelina smiled at me.

"I'd imagine so. Vampires, werewolves. It's crazy."

"Anyway," Edward put in forcefully, "That's why I married her and… we didn't know that she could become pregnant."

"Doesn't make any sense if you think about it." Avelina speculated, "Are you sure…?"

"Of course I'm sure." Edward snapped. I raised my eyebrows, rather glad that I didn't hear the end of that sentence. "Why were you looking for Jacob?" He continued. Finally, the reason that I'm standing here in this uncomfortable setting.

"I told you. My gift is knowing when people need my help. Knowing who they are and what to say." Avelina explained. I snorted. She didn't really seem to have a clue when I talked to her. She giggled again. I almost smiled.

Almost.

Apparently Edward was allowed in her head again because he was looking at her with a mesmerized expression. She looked like she was concentrating, making sure he only saw what she wanted him to.

It made me wonder what she was hiding. If she and Edward knew each other as well as they claimed to why would she need to keep things from him, if he was so dependable?

"I'm going back inside." Avelina said finally, turning on her heel and rushing away. I was about to follow her when Edward stopped me.

"Jacob." He said, "I need to talk to you." I just nodded, saying that he could continue. "Avelina is prone to…act strangely at times. Do things that are unpredictable." Didn't I know it. Not really predictable for a vampire to flag down a werewolf, is it?

He smiled, "Yes, like that. And I saw what her gift showed her about helping people. She intends to help all of us, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it."

"So?" I asked, I didn't really care who she helped. I didn't really care about anything at that point.

"I know." Edward whispered before saying, "But if it sometimes seems like she's going too far, like she did with Bella earlier. If it seems like she isn't helping or is hurting or is…once again, unpredictable. I need you to know that I trust her. And…I need you to trust her too." I didn't really feel like he was in a position that allowed him to ask me for favors. He just looked at me pleadingly.

"Alright! Alright, I'll let her do what she wants but please stop it with the pity act!" I threw my arms up. Edward smirked.

"Thank you Jacob." He said, he started to turn away then stopped and looked at me over his shoulder, "You should talk to her when you get a chance. I don't know why but she might be more open to you. And I feel she _can_ help you. She's a very…interesting person."

"An interesting vampire." I said dully, "I'll keep that in mind." Edward chuckled the smallest amount before going back inside.

Psh. Vampires.

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	6. Life is so unfair

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**6. Life is so unfair  
**

It was Seth's turn to get some sleep. His mind lost consciousness as I caught up with Leah on the perimeter, she gave me a disdained look.

_What?_ I demanded.

_What's the deal with the new leech?_ She asked coldly

_Avelina? Apparently she's an old friend of Edward's._ My mind played back the conversation in the forest. Leah's mind went blank with shock.

_So Edwards old squeeze came back, huh? _She recovered, _That must be awkward._

_I think it was but they said that they were just friends. _I demurred.

_Yeah, and Santa Clause called, said he wants to take you to prom next year._

_Shut up Leah._ She opened her mouth, then closed it again. _That was weird._ I commented.

_I just miss being human, _She whimpered, _talking out loud, opposable thumbs._

_Then go change for a while, get some sleep. I can handle it here._

_Really?_ She asked suspiciously.

_Yeah, go ahead. _

_Okay_ she turned away, then turned back, _Hey Jake? _

_Yeah?_

_Thanks._

It was a few hours before Leah phased back, her mind slightly frantic.

_What's freaking you out?_ Seth asked. Leah didn't answer, she just ran as fast as she could to catch up with us.

_Leah? _I asked, now concerned by the flashes in her thoughts, she was trying really hard to keep us out. It must of have been something really thought consuming because she was thinking of every painful memory since she was born. There was her and Emily as kids, lost in the forest, and another with Emily dangling over a cliff, Leah trying desperately trying to haul her back over, and another were Emily dragged a barely-conscious Leah out of the river. I had no idea how many things those two had been through together. Then came the things I knew about; Sam's rejections, her father's death, becoming a werewolf. It only cut off when Seth snapped at her.

_Stop it, Leah!_ He begged, _why are you thinking about all this crap anyway?_ Leah sighed,

_Leah shifted and put her clothes on, sitting down a fair distance away from the Cullens, so that the smell wouldn't keep her awake. She had been sleeping for a while when she sat bolt upright, rubbing her burning nose._

"_Sorry," Said a voice she didn't recognize. Looking up Leah saw Avelina standing about twenty yards away, "Did I wake you?" _

"_Yeah, kinda, what do you want?" Leah demanded unhappily._

"_I just wanted to talk to you." Avelina said, kneeling where she was. _

"_Sorry?" Leah asked in disbelief, "Why do you want to talk to _me_?" She twitched uncomfortably. Avelina shrugged. _

"_Well I hadn't seen you around, you know?" _

"_No. I really don't." Leah's cold remark made Avelina giggle, Leah rolled her eyes, completely unimpressed. _

"_Very frank. That's nice, everyone around here is so polite. Almost too polite sometimes. Very friendly."_

"_You wanted to talk?" Leah pointed out dryly._

"_That's right, I'm sorry I get so distracted sometimes," Avelina smiled apologetically, "But well it must be interesting, the only female werewolf." Leah glared at her, Avelina pretended not to notice, "I know I wouldn't be able to handle it the way you do. It's very brave. But the part I wonder about is…already you've had to deal with so much being the only female, why make it worse for yourself? Why leave your home, your pack? You don't even like vampires." _

_Leah winced. "You pick up on these things quickly?" She asked scornfully, Avelina shrugged. "I came to look after my little brother, who was stupid enough to follow Jacob when he ran off." _

"_You're a very good sister, then." Avelina said, smiling. Leah froze, shocked. No one had ever told her that before, she had always had such a haughty attitude that no one ever thought of her that way._

"_Yeah…well…maybe." She said uncomfortably, "You got siblings?"_

"_No." Avelina shrugged, eyes sad, "I had a little sister once but…she was very sickly and died young."_

"_Oh. I'm sorry." Leah said awkwardly. Avelina shrugged again._

"_Wasn't _your_ fault." Leah noted how it sounded as though she thought it was very clearly _someone's _fault, "It was a long time ago, anyway." _

"_So," Leah rubbed the back of her neck, "You're Edward's old girlfriend?"_

"_His old friend, yes." Avelina corrected._

"_Don't pull that on me." Leah crossed her arms, "The way everyone's going on about I'll bet you were never just friends."_

"_You'll lose a lot of money that way." _

"_Only when I'm wrong."_

"_Or when you aren't right."_

"_There's a difference?"_

"_Yes." Avelina said firmly, "Right now you aren't right." _

"_So there was…something about you two? Back then?"_

"_Well, I wouldn't say that."_

"_Then, what are you saying?" Leah demanded, Avelina laughed outright._

"_I'm not really too sure anymore. I feel like I had a point to make when this conversation started." _

"_You sure?" "Not entirely."_

"_Helpful." Leah sneered._

"_Not really," Avelina agreed, "But I wanted to tell you thanks."_

"_Thanks?" Leah was shocked again._

"_Yeah, I know that being here probably…sucks, to say the least. I mean, I've only been here a couple of hours and I'm becoming rather gloomy. All depression and woe. But you were very brave to leave your home for this. Thank you." _

_Leah looked at her hands, "I don't think anyone else thanked me for this.." She murmured. _

"_Well you deserve it, even though you didn't expect to hear it, did you?" Avelina asked._

"_Not from you." Leah said honestly. _

"_I understand. Well, I'd better get back."_

"_They missing you?" Leah teased uncharacteristically. Avelina smiled._

"_Yeah, probably. Actually probably not but I was thinking you'd want to go back to sleep or something." _

"_I was about to wake up anyway." Leah assured her, then looked over her shoulder guiltily, "Though I should probably get back to the perimeter."_

"_Go ahead." Avelina stood, "It was nice talking to you." She walked off, Leah stared after her. _

"_Yeah," She whispered in surprise, "Nice talking to you too."_

_So you made friends with a vampire?_ Seth asked smugly.

_I wouldn't call us friends_ Leah growled, _But she is kinda…different than the others, don't you think?_

_They're _all_ kinda different. _I said mournfully.

_What's up with you? _Leah asked, concerned by my dejected tone.

_How come Avelina's all nice to you?_ I demanded.

_Huh?_

_Every time she talks to anyone else she's all sweet and nice and helpful blah blah blah but when she talks to me she's just an obnoxious know-it-all? _I complained.

_You're probably beyond help._

_Ha ha ha. You're funny. NOT!_

_I was pretty amused myself._

_I bet you were. Shut up Leah._

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	7. What I get for not sleeping

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**7. What I get for not Sleeping  
**

It was my turn to sleep. But to tell the truth I wasn't tired at all. I figured I'd phase to human form and sit it out long enough for the others to think I took a nap. I was headed over to my usual sleeping place when I froze.  
Avelina was sitting against my tree.  
Her head was bent forward slightly so that her mahogany curls sheilded her face from my view. She was holding something small in her hands. With a resigned sigh I went straight up the tree and plopped on the ground next to her. She looked at me as I sat and I saw that she was holding a small i-pod with earbuds in her ears.  
"Hey Jake." She greeted me. I nodded, she giggled. "Don't worry, it's paused." She held the i-pod up to prove it. "Yeah, I believe you. What's up?" I asked, wondering what she was doing by my tree. She shrugged. "Well, nothing much. Things were just getting a little..." Her eyes darted around as she searched for the right word, "Boring inside." That startled a small laugh from me.  
"All this drama and you think it's boring?" I asked skeptically.  
"Well nothing is happening right now." Avelina argued good-naturedly, "Everyone's just watching T.V and Rose is taking care of Bella's every need and Edward is on another guilt trip and because of that so is Bella. Alice is still hiding because of her headache and the others haven't shown up yet."  
"Sounds pretty dramatic to me." I mumbled. "Not the fun kind of dramatic."  
"Fun kind of dramatic?" I repeated dumbly, "How is Drama ever fun?"  
"You'd be surprised." She giggled.  
"Probably." I muttered. "Sorry." She said, looking at me ruefully, "You probably want to sleep."  
"Actually, I don't. I'm not tired."  
"Then what are you doing?" Avelina asked.  
"Seth and Leah are forcing me to take a break."  
"Way to use our authority Mr. Alpha." She teased. "Please, you sound like Leah." I snorted. She giggled. "Wanna listen?" She asked me, holding out one of the earbuds. Eh, why not. I took it and put in in my ear as Avelina hit play.

"_You feel like a candle in a hurricane_

_ Just like a picture with a broken frame _

_Alone and helpless Like you've lost your fight _

_But you'll be alright, you'll be alright_

_ Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take _

_On your knees you look up _

_Decide you've had enough You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off _

_Then you Stand,  
_

_Then you stand _

_Life's like a novel With the end ripped out_

_ The edge of a canyon With only one way down_

_ Take what you're given before its gone _

_Start holding on, keep holding on_

_Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take_

_ On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off _

_Then you Stand_

_Everytime you get up And get back in the race One more small piece of you Starts to fall into place _

_Oh Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take _

_On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off _

_Then you Stand_"

"This is a country song." I said in surprise. She gave me an odd look.  
"Yeah. So?"  
"I was just surprised I didn't really think you seemed like a...country person." I said.  
"I like all kinds of music. I just thought you'd like this song." Avelina informed me.  
"You did?" I asked.  
"Yeah. It seems like..I don't know...your song."  
"Sweet, a theme song." That made her laugh outright.  
"Your cool. I wish I had a theme song." She stuck out her bottom lip. I let a laugh slip out again.  
"Here, I'll look into it for you." I promised in amusement. "Thanks." She grinned, "Only fair since I found yours. I'll put on another song."  
The next song she put on was Metal...the hardcore kind too. "Whose song was that?" I asked when it finished.  
"Oh please, I can't understand what they're saying." She giggled. I chuckled too, that was a major problem with me too.  
The next song was some 80s rock ballad, then some kind of salsa party mix.  
"Huh. You do like all kinds of music." I said as a girly boy band started singing.  
"Well, except Jazz." She corrected me.  
"I don't really like Jazz either." I told her.  
She put the i-pod on shuffle and leaned her head back against the tree, closing her eyes. She breathed in deeply, then out, then again.  
I watched her curiously. She was in that position for such a long time it almost seemed like she was sleeping. "Your not fooling me you know." I informed her, "I know you can't sleep." Slowly, she opened her eyes to look at me.  
"Just because we know it doesn't mean I have to accept it, I was fooling myself pretty well." She sighed.  
"That sucks." I muttered. "Yeah." Avelina agreed, "I-" She stood suddenly without finishing her sentance, cockng her head to the side listening to something I couldn't hear.  
I hear what came next, though.

Avelina closed her eyes and kneeled on the ground, face scrunched as I heard Bella's horrifying scream from the house.

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	8. Holy Freaking Crap

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**8. Holy Freaking Crap**

**--------------**

"What's going on?" I demanded, trying to pull Avelina to her feet without much success. "Avelina, come on!" She looked up at me and stood slowly. I glared at her.

"Come on." She said with a sigh, but I was already running.

I practically kicked down the door to the Cullen's house and charged in, Avelina right behind me.

"What's going on?" I shouted at no one in particular. Bella was standing in front of the couch, her arms wrapped around her stomach, doubled over in pain. Rosalie had one of her arms, Edward the other. Bella and Edward glanced up when I entered but didn't say anything. Edward and Blondie were half dragging her to the stairs.

"Get her to the study." Edward said in a strained voice, ducking out from under Bella's arm and quickly stepping over to Avelina and me.

"Edward!" Bella shouted desperately, her eyes locked on his face. And for a moment they moved to Avelina and her eyes narrowed before being whisked up the stairs. Edward sent a tortured glance in her general direction.

"I've got to get up there but..." Edward told us in a rush, "I thought you should know. It's coming. We can't wait for Carlisle to get back, it's clawing out and we can't stop it." My vision turned red, then black. For a second I thought I passed out...until something cold touched my arm. I looked over to see Avelina gripping my arm, staring at Edward with a strangely horrified look on her face.

"Edward. No...you can't do this now. Wait for Carlisle." She said weakly, I couldn't help staring at her.

"There's no time!" Edward snapped harshly, "We can't wait any longer."

"But Edward!"

"I have to get up there." He turned for the stairs but Avelina lurched forward and grabbed his elbow, clinging to him with both hands.

"Edward!" She looked like she would be crying if she could.

"Avelina. Let go." Edward growled dangerously.

"You'll kill her. If I let go you'll kill her." Avelina choked. "You'll kill her. You can't save her. She'll die."

"I won't kill her."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I love her." I rolled my eyes, was this really the time? What the hell was Avelina doing? Bella would die for sure now if Edward didn't do something. Speaking of Avelina...I looked at her again. Her lips were slightly parted, her eyes were squinted shut.

What the....?

Suddenly Avelina's eyes flew open, glaring at Edward. I took a startled step back.

Whenever I saw Avelina and Edward together it was obvious she was trying to keep something from him. Well, she wasn't keeping it anymore.

"Sometimes," She said in a low voice, "_Love_ isn't enough!" Her eyes we like an open book, pain and anger flowing out of them. She seemed to be burdening Edward with every thought she kept back. I was a little bit annoyed that I still didn't know what her secret was. But mostly I was in shock, almost certain my mouth was hanging open at Avelina's obvious horror and...._heartbreak_. Edward ripped his arm out of her grasp and stumbled back several steps. Did vampires stumble? I never saw that before. His dark eyes were wide as he regarded Avelina who was choking on tearless sobs. He took another step backward, then up the stairs. His eyes never leaving Avelina's.

When Edward was gone I turned full on to Avelina and crossed my arms.

"What the hell was that about?" I realized a little too late that I didn't want to draw attention to myself when she was in a mood. But by the time she turned to look at me her anger burned out, her eyes were dull and closed to her emotions again.

"Sorry." She said ruefully, "I think I'm feeling a little...stressed."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." I said flatly. She smiled just a little bit.

Bella was dying. I saw it before needing to leave the room, before feeling the need to claws my eyes out so I'd never have to see anything so horrible again. And it was all that little thing's fault. All because of that little..._monster _that now had me fighting tooth and nail to kill it. I could see it from where I stood in the hallway..it was watching me with those dark eyes...mocking me. It' may as well have been shouting at me "Haha! I killed Bella! What are you going to do now?" And even though it was saying anything...it must have been thinking it.

"Jake!" Someone whispered behind me urgently. I blinked and looked around confusedly. I was leaning forward, toward where Rosalie held the...baby...and Avelina had both hand wrapped around my forearm, leaning backwards to keep me in place.

"Sorry." I mumbled, "I didn't really know I was going anywhere."

Avelina looked at me evenly but her voice sounded amused when she said "I'd guess you were seeing red. Get a grip."

"Right." I said bitterly sucking in a deep breath, "You can let me go now."

"You seeing other colors again?" She asked, a tight smile at her lips but her eyes were still serious.

"Yeah." She let go slowly, still watching me cautiously.

"You're not shaking." Avelina noted, looking me up and down. I looked down too. Huh. She was right. I was pissier than a pregnant teenager but even my hands were still. "You look surprised."

"I am surprised."

"Why?" She asked.

"You ask weird questions." I told her, she shrugged. I sighed, "I'm surprised because I'm in a house filled with vampires and I'm in a really bad mood."

"And?"

"And I'm calm!"

"So?"

"So!? I'm a werewolf! And here I am completely calm when I should be bursting out of my clothes." I hit one of my fists against one of my palms in frustration. Avelina watched the action curiously.

"Maybe you're getting self-control." She suggested.

"I don't_ feel_ in control. I feel like a time-bomb waiting to go off."

"_Everyone_ feels like that sometimes, Jacob." Avelina said, her eyes finally softening a bit. "We just don't turn into giant wolves."

"Stop trying to make me feel normal."

"Oh please, I wouldn't even know where to begin with that." She giggled a bit, I raised my eyebrows.

"You going to tell me what the deal was with Edward back there?" I asked.

"No."

"I'll ask Edward." I narrowed my eyes, expecting Avelina to object but she only shrugged her shoulders.

"I can't stop you."

"Will you stop him from telling me?"

"No. He can say if he wants. But you should wait a few days before you ask him." She said, turning to the front door, "For your own safety."

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	9. Define Avelina For Me

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**9. Define Avelina for me  
**

Bella was adjusting to vampire life like a caterpillar adjusts to being a butterfly; so perfect they wonder why they were a caterpillar in the first place. The kid, Renesmee, wasn't as bad as I thought. I constantly thanked Avelina for holding me back that first day because 20 minutes later Seth entered and imprinted on the spot. Imprinting is really becoming a huge joke to me, what's the point? It was just weird to think of Seth and Nessie (as he liked to call her) being inseparable, but whenever he's in wolf-form I can see how happy it makes him…and it sickens me. I waited around for a few days after Bella's transformation was complete, kind of waiting for the right moment to approach Edward. Thankfully, Charlie was taking Bella, Nessie, and Seth out for dinner (Bella, of course, would not be eating). Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper planned to go hunting, and Alice was going to take Rose and Avelina shopping. Leaving Emmet and Edward to hold down the fort.

So far as I could tell, Avelina was fitting into the Cullen family perfectly. She was treated like a hero by Esme and Carlisle, like a close sister by Alice, a casual gal pal by Rosalie, a playmate by Emmet, a respected friend by Jasper, and then there was the intimate (yet not really intimate) way Edward treated her that blatantly invited her to be with them. Leah kept most snide comments about Avelina to herself (and even had a small conversation with her now and then). Seth just thought she was the greatest, to him she was like that older-brother's-extremely-cool-long-term-girlfriend. She was a friend, and even though she was new most of us felt that life without her would be downright wrong. She was introduced to Nessie as "Aunt Avelina". When Edward first introduced them Avelina gave him a grateful smile, he returned it and a suddenly-stony Bella became mysteriously preoccupied by Nessie's stray hair.

I had every intention to ask Edward about Avelina's freak out when Bella was having the baby. For some reason it seemed really significant, and what about that sentence "Sometimes love isn't enough"? I had to find out. I was on my way to the house when I saw Avelina leaning on a tree at the edge of the treeline, watching various Cullens head this way and that, preparing for the day. I walked up next to her.

"What's up?" I asked her, she glanced at me with a tiny smile.

"I'm going shopping." She said with amusement.

"You say it like it's a bad thing." I commented.

"It's not…in small doses. I'm worried about trying to get Alice to bring me back." She then turned to lock eyes with me and place her hand on my shoulder. "If I'm not back by Monday, start your search in Mall of America and follow the shopping bags until you find us." She said seriously, though her eyes were laughing. I laughed too, and to think I used to hate Avelina.

"I'm going to talk to Edward today." I told her. Avelina cocked her head until I elaborated, "I'm going to ask him about the other day…what you said…"

"Oh." Her face fell and she bit her lip, "I can't stop you…but I think you shouldn't look too much into it."

"What do you mean?"  
"I'm…a liar. I mean, I didn't lie outright but there is something that is a little…contradicting. But it isn't my fault, and I don't say much about it because I didn't want …" She was searching for words, which was weird for her.

"Everyone lies." I said, "I just want to know what's going on with you." Avelina smiled sadly.

"Don't think less of me." And she walked off. I stared after her, more than a little confused.

* * *

"Hey, Edward." Edward was lounging in living room, Emmet was nowhere in sight. Edward had, of course, seen this conversation coming all day.

"Come on." He led me out back and leaned against a tree not very far into the woods. "You want to know about Avelina." He stated flatly. I nodded.

"Well, yeah. I was just wondering because…." _Sometimes love isn't enough._ "I want to know what she means.

"How much do you know about Avelina?" Edward said on a sigh.

"Not much. She's a vampire, she was your friend before becoming vampires, she knows when she needs to help people and how she became a vampire." _I'm a liar._ What did that mean? _Don't think less of me._

"Here's the thing about Avelina." Edward said, "She doesn't like always being the weakest one. She grew up not being able to protect herself, always needing someone's help, giving all she had just to make it out alive."

"I don't…understand." I said.

"I don't know how much of that story she wants me to tell you. You can ask her, and if she says for me to tell you I will. But…it's hard to talk about. You wanted to know what she was hiding from me.

"Apparently, many years ago, Avelina was in a situation similar to mine. She fell in love with a human. At first, she didn't tell him what she was. She walked with him at night, cuddled in tree tops and flirted over café tables. But he, like Bella, discovered the truth. When he confronted her about it she just froze, it's always hard when you think that what you are will keep you from the person you love. But he couldn't find it in him to discard her, because he loved her too, and sometimes that can make you forget about safety. Avelina was….ecstatic, to say the least. But she was also very conflicted, obviously. Because she knew that she wouldn't be able to stay with him, but she couldn't stay away from him either. That and she knew that, eventually, he would die and she'd be alone again." He stopped and sucked in a breath.

"I can't imagine how painful that'd be." I said, and he knew I wasn't just saying it for Avelina.

"Thanks. She started doing everything she could to spend more time with him, but time goes by so quickly when you're immortal. This is where our stories begin to differ. Their time together wasn't enough for either of them. He dropped out of college so they could travel, they had enough money to travel comfortably for a century. He gave up the normal life he could have had, and she let him. I can't imagine allowing that, but they were both happy for nearly twenty years. I sometimes wonder…" He drifted off. I cleared my throat.

"Avelina?" I reminded him. He grimaced.

"Yes. Avelina. Well, you were there when she talked about how human blood was unappealing to her after killing a complete stranger." _I'm a Liar._ "That's not where she lied. She did lead you, and everyone else for that matter, that that was the only time she killed." I was starting to feel like I didn't want to hear this story anymore. "They went rock climbing in Europe once, and he started to faint from the heat. Avelina started helping him up so they could get to a ledge so he could lie down. But he was practically unconscious, Avelina was so desperate to get him to a safe place that she wrapped her arm around him and dragged him up the cliff. However, when she got him up there she found that she had clutched him so hard that it crumpled his ribcage and ruptured his heart, he was already dead." Edward ducked his head for a moment as I absorbed. _I'm a liar. Sometimes love isn't enough. You shouldn't look too much into it. I can't stop you. You'll kill her._ It made sense. Edward had seemed sure that he could keep Bella alive because he loved her. But Avelina…

"She lost her chance at love because of what she is." Edward continued. I couldn't tell if he was finishing my thought or following his own. "She could never forgive herself, and it was completely an accident. And sometimes love just _isn't _enough."

"Why did she tell you?" I asked, "Why did she care so much if Bella lived or not?"

"Because that's the kind of friend she is." Edward whispered, "In any case, it's a kind of pain that if you experience it you wouldn't wish it on anyone." I was torn. Torn into two horrible halves. Half of me just wanted to tell Avelina she wasn't a liar, and how sorry I was. The other half of me wanted to cry, to sob shamelessly because I couldn't imagine feeling anything so horrible. I glanced up at Edward, he looked haunted. His eyes had dark shadows in them, his breathing irregular, sometimes closing his eyes for several seconds at a time. He was seeing it, I realized. I couldn't picture it; a faceless man I'd never met laying in the dirt, his chest crumpled and bleeding, Avelina bent over him in pure agony. Edward saw it, the man he saw had a face, he was seeing Avelina's face too, and feeling her agony, feeling it all. I suddenly got the urge to be very sick, I took a deep breath and let it out, calming myself.

"Have you talked to her about it?" I asked finally. Edward sighed.

"I don't know how to bring something like that up; I don't want to make her feel worse. And I don't know what she might resent, she doesn't seem like it but I feel something here makes her uncomfortable." He said.

"Well, you should say something. You _are_ her best friend, after all." I pointed out, "And you're the only one who can begin to imagine how she feels." I suddenly smiled, "And I bet she isn't nearly as uncomfortable as Bella is." Edward's head snapped up.

"What?"

"You're kidding me, right?" Reliant on mind-reading much? I sobered quickly, I needed to talk to Avelina.

* * *

**I know I know! But I've been busy.**

**Me+Fanfiction+youtube+school+Guitar+American Idol+Rereading those books I have memorized+Possible Courageous Persuaders project= JUST PICK A FREAKING HOBBY ALREADY!!!**

**I need to update my other stories....**

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	10. I used to just hang out with friends

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**10. I used to just hang out with friends  
**

The others didn't get back before I left. We'd all moved back to La Push, technically. But with Seth's imprinting and my being the Alpha our unofficial territory is VampireLand. When I got there the next morning I looked around for Avelina. Bella and Edward were on the couch watching Seth play with Nessie, Esme was in the kitchen, Carlisle and Alice were upstairs. Thankfully, Rosalie wasn't around. Not as thankfully, neither was Avelina. Edward looked up at me and pointed his thumb out back, answering my thoughts. I nodded once and headed out the back door, my plan was to keep on walking until I found her. It didn't take very long, maybe five minutes or so, before I stopped on the edge of a small clearing. The sun had made a rare appearance over Forks today, sunlight flowed through the gaps in the trees of the Cullen's forest. I stood at the edge of the brightly-lit clearing, shocked. Avelina was sitting in the middle of the clearing. Her legs were crossed, her weight braced on her hands. Her eyes were closed and she hung her head back, turning her face to the sun as her redder-than-ever curls cascaded down her back. Every inch if her white marble skin was covered with sparkling....well...sparkles, for lack of a better word. I had never actually seen a vampire in the sunlight before, I felt as though Bella may have mentioned it once but I had obviously never given it much thought. It was really...cool, for one thing. I mean, how sweet is it that sunlight can turn you into a disco ball? But it was more sophisticated than that, if I had a normal attitude I would have acknowledged how beautiful the sight of it was. But I'm me, and I shouldn't be able to take twinkling monsters seriously in that way. It was nice, though. But...there was also something about it that made my fists curl up. Something about it made me twitch and tremble and want to run away from it. It was just so... unnatural. Nothing alive that was meant to be on earth should be able to sparkle like that, it went against the laws of nature. It was so strange....so foreign...so...._vampire_. I remember telling Bella nearly every day that vampires were unnatural creatures, the wolf of me was born in me, I'm meant to be the way I am, I'm basically a part of nature. And nature shied away from immortals.

"Are you going to stand there all day or did you want to talk?" Avelina called out to me, her eyes still closed. I closed my eyes for a moment, repeating the line in my head a few times. Avelina, just Avelina. Her personality, her story, her smile, nothing freaky about her. I could focus on that, I could focus on the Avelina part of this vampire, I was even getting quite good at it. I opened my eyes and walked out into the clearing. I sat deliberately with my back to her and all her sparkly craziness, but I was still essentially right next to her. And I may have had this conversation back to back anyway. "I don't bite." She assured me.

"I know, you just have to understand that as a werewolf seeing this kind of stuff doesn't come easy for me. Unnatural isn't easy for me." I said.

"I respect that." Avelina said, I was glad she understood. "I'm assuming you talked to Edward?" She continued.

"Yeah, I asked him yesterday like I said."

"And you're still here, still talking to me, still willing to exist in the same world I do." She mused. I was confused.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I?" I asked.

"I figured you'd hate me. Taking a life, and I made it sound like I hadn't before. You should be angry with me, aren't you?"

"The last thing I feel is anger." I said seriously. Well, maybe it wasn't the last thing, but that's okay because the other stuff wouldn't be very healthy for her.

"What is it that you feel, then?" Avelina asked, trying to keep curiosity out of her voice.

"Well, first I'd say I feel sad. Depressed, actually, it was a horrible story to hear. Then I'd probably feel sorry for you, even though you probably don't want to hear that. Then I feel...well, it's hard to explain. It's kind of like... I'm so horrified that I almost want to make it up to you. I know I have nothing to do with any of this, but I want to...fix it, I guess, and make you happy again."

"Male instinct." Avelina said, I could sense her begin to smile. I smiled a little bit too. "What else do you feel?" Avelina urged.

"I feel almost proud of you for carrying on like you did. That was a while ago, and you're still here with us. Edward was rushing off to Italy when Bella died."

"Death isn't a release, though it is a reunion." Avelina breathed, she continued before I could question, "I believe in a lot of things about death, and someday I'll confirm them. But I just keep getting these feelings that the world isn't ready to let go of me yet. Even though I am a monster. I feel like I have to spend 400 years making amends, and then I may die happy. That's just a random number of course, I just felt like once I'm gone I won't be able to help down here anymore, and there were too many things that I felt I needed to do. Go on."

"And I'm very glad of that." I continued, "I'm glad you're here and then I'm grateful as well as glad that you felt I could hear that story."

"You say it as though in particular." Avelina pointed ou.

"I'm sure there's things you haven't told me." I said, "And I'm sure they're very important things too, but you don't need to tell me things. I have no right, and I'm honored that you told me anyway. In a way, I mean, because Edward told me but still..." That made Avelina chuckle quietly. "Enough with me." I said, "Tell me what you feel." I had turned throughout the conversation, I had twisted myself around so that I was look at the top of Avelina's head. With a sigh, she raised her head, her curls sliding up my arm. She turned around and laid on her stomach, propping her chin in her hands and look directly at me. I turned to a more natural position so I could look at her properly.

"I feel guilty." She said first and foremost, "Guilty for not saying something sooner. Guilty because you're right; there are other things that I haven't told you, things that may be necessary to know if we're to be friends." She paused, which was good because I needed to think a moment. She'd never called us friends before, I'd never considered us friends before. Well she knew all my secrets, even though I didn't give her permission for any of them. I knew a couple of hers, there was no keeping the fact that she was a vampire or that I was a werewolf...that was there and accepted. Plus I was sitting in a clearing with her miles away from home having a heart-to-heart with a certain sparkling someone that's supposed to be my enemy. I guess you could count that as friendship. But the kicker for me was: I didn't really care that she was a vampire. It was like she was in a completely different class than every other vampire (except most of the Cullens, anyway). Sure, I could acknowledge that's what she was but at the end of the day I still wanted to be around her. She smelled like a vampire, looked like a vampire, sparkled like a vampire, moved like a vampire, put on a show like a vampire, but she didn't really act like a vampire. And somehow my body just knew it, even when my mind didn't: not even my hands shook when I was around her. If anything, she helped my temper. When she stopped me from...approaching...Renesmee, I was so angry I should have transformed, and the touch of a vampire shouldn't have helped that since it should have made it worse. But it helped, and ultimately saved little Nessie. I nodded so that Avelina would keep talked. She smiled appreciatively before continuing, "And I want to tell you, but I'm not sure if I have it in me yet. But I promise, someday soon I'll tell you...maybe Edward can tell you part of it."

"He read that part off your mind, too?" I asked.

"He was there." Avelina replied darkly, "He saw everything, he was there the whole time." I didn't know how to reply to that.

"What else?" I asked to change the subject.

"I'm really happy that you don't hate me. Really, really happy. I appreciate that Edward told you, I can tell he really respected my privacy and only told you enough to answer your question. I feel sad too...thinking about it. I mean, that's a given but I can't get over it. Time passes and wounds heal over, they always have. But this one just scabs than reopens."

"I wouldn't be surprised if you never get over it. A lot of people don't." I said, somehow trying to make it sound encouraging.

"I respect you, Jacob. And frankly I'm a little jealous, you're so outspoken and so many people care about what you do. You make tough decisions, giving up things that you need in order to do what's right, and there is nothing that I respect more than that. Thanks for putting up with me, I know I can kind of drive people crazy." That took me back to the first day I met her, I hated her so much. That was weird and almost painful to think about now. She didn't deserve my hate, she didn't deserve anyone's hate. We sat there in silence for a long time, it's one of those experiences that seems to take hours but really only takes a couple of minutes.

"I want to know some of those things you feel you'll need to tell me." I said eventually.

"How patient." She said sarcastically. I looked at her seriously.

"Just give me one then, every now and then just give me one." She hesitated and I continued, "You know everything about me, I just want to find out more about you."

"One," Avelina sighed, "You get one question, choose it carefully." I tried to gather scattered thoughts about the clues I had picked up in the past few days about Avelina. There were so many I didn't know how I'd be able to choose just one. Eventually I settled on one I found the most curious.

"The other day you were talking to Leah about being a good sister. Which was really nice of you, by the way, she never gets that. And you mentioned that you had a little sister once, but she was sickly and died young." Avelina nodded stiffly. "What happened?" I asked. Avelina took a few deep breaths with closed eyes, when she opened them she looked at me seriously, honestly.

"She wasn't exactly sickly. My little sister, Marjorie, was about four years younger than me. But she was born with down syndrome, back then such mental disorders were shameful and frightening. For a while we kept her locked up, Mother told everyone that her baby had died. But she was alive, she was in the attic the whole time. But once, when I was twelve, a houseguest wandered too far and discovered her. Afraid and ashamed, my father threw her out to die on the street. She was eight years old. Marjorie was eight years old, she was innocent, and sweet. After becoming immortal I looked her up, too. They found her body a few weeks later, no one would take her in and she starved. She died young, alone, scared, and unloved. I loved her though, but she never knew. I snuck up to see her, I wasn't allowed up there. So I never told her how much I cared about her, and she died never knowing."

"That's horrible." I whispered.

"I know." She whispered back. Then she stood, "We'd better get back." She started to leave the clearing, but just as she reached the edge of the trees something occurred to me.

"Avelina!" I called after her. She turned to me and raised her eyebrows. "Edward told me about him. The man...but he didn't tell me his name. What was his name?" Avelina just looked at me as a smile spread across her lips.

"Sorry, Jake." She said with amusement, "You already used your one question." And she disappeared behind the trees.

* * *

**Yes, this took a while but remember: The longer it takes me to write the better I feel the chapter has to be for you! I've been busy, I actually wrote this completely in school, mostly in first hour and that seemed to work pretty well! Review!**


	11. A Place To Hide

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**11. A Place To Hide**

**Avelina **

Sitting with Bella and Edward was possibly the most infuriating experience of my life. If I had a choice I would have been somewhere else, but I couldn't think of anywhere to go. Jake, Seth, and Leah were in LaPush and most of the others had gone hunting. Curse my hunting schedule. It was a little peaceful, if I closed my eyes. The only sound was of Renesmee's steady heartbeat as she slept in her mother's arms. Edward sat by Bella, both of their eyes glazed over, Bella had pressed Renesmee's hand to her cheek. Now they were both watching her dream. I couldn't even remember things like dreaming, I'm not sure I've ever had a dream. Sure, sometimes it's hard for immortals to remember their human lives, but I remember several things very distinctly. One of those things was my nights, nights were always cold, dark and frightening. Noises from downstairs would drift up to me, sometimes they were good, but most of the times they were bad, I'd fall asleep with tears fresh on my cheeks. I'm not trying to be resentful or anything, I just get annoyed when I'm in awkward situations.

The situation probably wasn't helped by the fact that I kept watching Edward accusingly, I'm sure that's how I looked. Thankfully he was so involved in his daughter's dreams that I don't think he noticed, nor would I really want him to. Edward's was the face that I remember most clearly from my human life. I remember when his skin was soft and warm. I remember his emerald green eyes, I remember those eyes being my favorite thing in the world. I had spent years and years clinging to the sight of those green eyes, they were a sign of hope. Sure, this was the same Edward, but when I met his mind-reading amber gaze I felt kind of...hopeless. It was eerie, it was like having your favorite cat shaved, it's unrecognizable and not as comforting as being able to snuggle your nose into that precious cat's fur.

I don't know what happened in Nessie's dream, but something made Edward look up. I don't know, maybe he was just following my thoughts. He stood and gestured me to follow him out of the room. He set a hand on Bella's shoulder and she nodded, not ready to be distracted. I followed Edward out beyond the treeline, becoming nervous that my gut wasn't telling me what to do.

I call my vampire gift being able to help people. When I was human I could spot suffering a mile away, but back then I was trapped, I couldn't help, and now it was my purpose. Often I'd follow my feet across the world, not knowing where I was going until I was there. Information and names would pop into my head and words that I couldn't control would pop out of my mouth. I was there to fix things, I couldn't stop it if I tried, but I didn't want to. I always knew what the best thing to say was, except for now.

Now I was following my former best friend and I had no idea what I would say to him. I didn't know what he'd say to me, he's the one who reads minds, not me. My gut told me that he could see me thoughts, he's always been good at reading me but when I saw him as a vampire I knew that it had to be so much stronger. Normally, I wouldn't think that I needed my gift to be able to talk to Edward, but this time I wasn't so sure.

I'd kept my story from him on purpose, it's hard for me to see people in pain, especially him. But I told him, he thought love could save her and I showed him everything. Edward didn't think that he'd be able to live after Bella died, but I'd once felt something just as strong and I was still here. The man I loved was also the man I killed, the man that I had destroyed long before I crushed his chest. He was giving up his life to spend it with me, I always thought it was such a waste for him. But it was what he wanted, and who was I to deny him what he wanted? Whenever he flashed his dimples at me I'd turn into butter and he got whatever he wanted.

The reason I thought about this at that moment was the same reason Edward infuriated me. I felt betrayed. I felt stabbed in the back, I felt completely worthless and useless. Edward was supposed to be my best friend, all of my years as an immortal I had never found a better friend than that human boy who had been thought to have died from the fever. I'd let him into my thoughts, he saw what I saw and felt what I felt. That's all fine and well but he hadn't said anything, he hadn't said a damn thing about it. I was shocked when Jacob had approached me in the clearing, ready to talk about it so quickly, ready to make me feel better about myself. Edward hadn't even told me sorry, he hadn't asked me a single question, he hadn't said anything. This was significant to me because he was the best friend I'd been looking for for decades. And here he was, so incredibly different that he didn't even apologize for my pain. Did he even feel bad?

"Of course I do." Edward said forcefully, turning around to look at me.

"That's not fair, thoughts are hard to control." I informed him. He didn't look amused. The sky was beginning to grow dark as night settled in, we didn't notice because it didn't do anything to our eyesight but I sensed it. I sensed it dark and cold, like night always was.

"Avelina, you have no idea how absolutely horrible I feel. When I remember how you felt and...and what you saw and what you did, it kills me. I can hear everyone's thoughts, and it always hurts. But you, you are the best friend that I have ever had the privilege to encounter. And when something so painful happens to someone that you never want to see hurt _ever_...Well, I know you understand that." He said.

"Of course I do." Of course I understood that. I may not completely love Bella, I hardly even know her, but I didn't want to see her die. Especially at Edward's hands. Sometimes I don't think that she understands how much her pain hurts everyone around her, how easily she can scar them. But that's not important, I had never intended to let Edward know about what happened to be when I had loved someone that much. But then he got dangerously close to killing her, and all I could think about was how I'd be able to hear his heart break, I know the sound so well. I didn't want to see his eyes much as I never wanted to see my reflection after I killed, because I didn't want the pain. I don't wish that sort of pain on my greatest enemy.

"I'm sorry." Edward said finally, "Thank you for telling me. Thank you for a lot of things, thank you for coming back. I know you were looking for Jacob but it is wonderful to have around."

"You're family is so nice," I said, noting the change of subject and not doing anything to stop it, "they're so accepting. I never imagined that I'd be able to fit in like this anywhere."

"Does that mean you'll stay?" Edward asked abruptly. Of course he'd seen it, he'd seen it all along. He'd seen my wandering and this was just another stop along the road of immortality. "We'd love to have you. They wouldn't mind, they all think you're so great, they see you for what you are. They would want you to be a part of the family, and so would I. Avelina Cullen..." He mused.

"Aunt Avelina." I said with feeling. Edward raised his eyebrows and I could almost feel him poking around in my mind.

"You liked that, did you?" He asked mildly.

"You know I did." I said, tweaking his nose, "I always wanted to be an aunt, and a mother, and a sister and a daughter. I always wanted to be everything that you're offering me and more. But I just don't know. I'm supposed to help people, if someone needs me then I can't keep from going to them. It's not that I don't want to stay in one place but I can't, I'll go into a trance and run away when no one is around. You need to be dependable to be in a good family, and that's something that I can't be."

"You could try." Edward pointed out sadly, knowing that trying would only get me so far. I tried to lighten the mood.

"And I don't think your wife is very fond of me." I pointed out. His head snapped up.

"Bella? What makes you say that?" He asked. I sighed with exasperation.

"I swear, Edward. Sometimes it seems like you don't even know this girl. You're so used to reading minds that you don't know how to read people. Admittedly, you don't really need to, except for her. You used to have people skills."

"I have people skills." Edward argued. I smiled at him.

"I miss you." I said. He looked at me, the present tense of my statement was significant.

"But I'm here." He insisted.

"Edward, I didn't see you for eighty some odd years. I knew you back then and I spent that time looking for someone like you, someone like that best friend that I used to have. But then I find you and you're completely different. You've got this new home, new family, you've got a wife and kid for crying out loud! Once upon a time Edward Masen never would have gotten married, never would have spent his life with someone. I know that this is for the better but where did he go?" I looked at him, Edward looked down.

"I miss you too, Avelina." He said quietly, "I miss your eyes, how reflective and beautiful they were, I miss your blush and your laugh. I miss your support and your determination."

"That's something I haven't lost." I assured him, he laughed. "I miss your eyes, they were so...green." I said, "My favorite thing in the world used to be your eyes."

"Your hair in sunlight." Edward mused.

"I felt bad that I never go to thank you for...everything." I started but Edward held up his hand in protest.

"I don't feel like I should be thanked." He said wretchedly, "I feel like I should be locked away forever."

"That wouldn't do anyone much good." I said flatly.

"If you miss me so much, maybe you should stay." When I opened my mouth Edward held up his hands, "I know you don't think you can stay forever but just try to be part of the family. I'd really like having you around."

"I'd like to be around." I said, "I'd do anything to have a family like yours."

"Even try to spend some time with Bella?" Edward asked hopefully. I winced, Edward grinned at me, taking me by the arm and towing back toward the house, "You know, you two have a lot in common. You're more alike than you think and I know that you'd get along if you just tried."

"No promises." I muttered. Edward laughed as he dragged me through the back door into the living room where Bella was waiting. She was no longer watching Nessie dream, she was standing and looked quite unhappy. When she saw Edward and I come in her expression soured and I wondered if Edward noticed.

"Bella, I'm going to take Nessie back to the cottage. Why don't you two stay here and wait in case the others come back early?" Nice Edward, very tactful. Bella looked at me with dislike in her eyes and sat on the couch in defeat. Edward went to her and took his daughter in his arms.

"She is so adorable." I whispered.

"Would you like to hold her?" Edward asked, offering her to me. I could tell be the look on Bella's face that she would tear me apart if I so much as touched her precious baby.

"I shouldn't." I said quietly, not because of Bella, of course. Edward knew, I always wanted a family. When we were kids I'd draw family portraits of me and my children, I had even picked out names: Maryanne and Evangeline were my girls, and Joshua and Neven were my boys. I never got to have kids, or that family I ever wanted. And here I saw it, Edward had all I ever wanted, he'd laughed at it until the day we died. What a twist of events. Edward looked at me with a sympathetic nod and left. I went and sat down on the couch as far away from Bella as I could.

"So..." I said, trying to think of a conversation starter, "Renesmee, such an interesting name? Well, Edward sure doesn't have the imagination to come up with that, where'd you get the idea?" Bella stiffened, not good news for me.

"It's a combination of Renee and Esme, our mothers' names. And Edward has plenty imagination, he could have thought of it." She responded coolly. I knew that I should have been nice but I couldn't help laughing out loud.

"Oh please! Don't give him so much credit! All those years I spent naming my kids, Edward never wanted them. But when I told him to pick some names you know what he said? Mary, Jane, James, Donna, Richard. He wouldn't even think to combine names because he believes in contemporary names." I said. Her fingers twitched and I calmed myself down, "You know, maybe." Awkward silence. "How old are you?" I asked.

"Seventeen." Bella answered with a stubbornness I couldn't place, but I smile nonetheless.

"Me too. I was seventeen when Edward caught the fever and my parents decided to get out of town." I said. Again neither of us spoke, it was torture. Then Bella moved her left hand to swipe a strand of hair out of her face. I gaped at her hand. "Is that..?" I stuttered, "Is that his mother's wedding ring?" Bella looked at it with such casualty that I could have slapped her.

"Yes." She said. I stared at her, that meant absolutely nothing to her. But I remembered that ring on Elizabeth Masen's hand, I remembered her telling Edward how much it meant to her.

"Such a waste." I muttered to myself, but of course Bella heard me. Her eyes tightened. "I'm sorry. I think it's just a bit personal to me, I dearly loved his mother. Elizabeth Masen was practically a mother to me as well." I tried to sound apologetic. Her eyes got a little less tight, I was thankful because those red eyes were mercilessly...freaky when she glared. It was odd that I was thinking about eye colors when Bella said,

"What color did your eyes used to be? Edward's were green, I've heard, what about you?"

"They were brown. Brown like mountains, Edward used to say. He said they were special because brown eyes were usually flat, and mine just seemed to go on forever." I said. The tightness around Bella's eyes returned.

"What were you like as a human?" Bella asked.

"Shy. Very shy, invisible even. I blushed really easily, and I cried when I was angry. I didn't have very high self-esteem, Edward always had to talk me up to make me feel better about myself. I was afraid of new, and unseen, I always thought that I could do anything, Edward had to stop me a lot of the time. Not to brag but I was pretty smart, I had a lot of suitors." I laughed, "Well, not really but you know what I mean."

"Your hair, it gets red in the sunlight." Bella said, I couldn't find her meaning, "What about Edward? What was he like?"

"Musical genius." I said simply, "He lived for others, he could read people so well and he never let them feel bad. And he started playing piano when was three. His mother taught him, Elizabeth Masen was the best Piano Instructor in town. He learned from her, but it was amazing because he could write all of these beautiful songs. He wrote one for me once, when I was upset. I can't remember it very well, I should ask him about it. But it was so sweet, sometimes I'd have to come over at night. His mother would give me some blankets and I'd curl up on the couch. I could never sleep though, but Edward would play this song until I fell asleep."

"Like a lullaby." Bella suggested, her eyes narrowing even further.

"I guess so, yes." I said, still not sure what she was upset about. Then it hit me like a truck, like now I was supposed to know. Stupid gut! Stupid vampire gift! I was trying to be nice to Bella, I really did. But my gift wouldn't let me, it just kept me on talking until finally it let me see what it was doing. "Bella, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" I said. But she didn't care, she was glaring. She hated me, and I'd hate me too if I were her. I should have said something but at the moment I didn't know what. So I left, I backed out of the house and ran. I climbed up a nearby tree as the sun was starting to rise.

Bella used to blush easy, and cry when angry. She used to have brown eyes that Edward said were deep instead of flat, she had brown hair that turned red in sunlight. She was shy, she was desired by humans in her earlier life, she was afraid, Edward helped her self-esteem, she was smart. And, most importantly of all, he wrote her a lullaby. Sure, none of it was that significant, but what made it a big deal was it happened to me first. I didn't want to go back, there would probably be fireworks, a lot of fireworks. So I sat in the tree until I smelt something woodsy and wet. I leaned over and saw Jacob at the bottom of my tree.

"Hey, do you want to come down?" Jacob called up to me. I liked Jacob, I knew I'd really pissed him off when we first met but I really did like him. He was nice, he didn't judge me, I was pretty sure he even considered me a friend. He was fun to be around, when he was there I could forget about Edward drama. I shook my head at him and laughed.

"No. You come up!" I said. Jacob glared at me, not like the first time but more like the 'I hate you but you're my best friend' kind of way. Best friend, what an exciting thought! But no, I haven't had a best friend in a long time. Jacob clambered up the branches until he sat at the same level as me. He looked at me and something suggested that he wanted more answered. "One question." I said with a sigh. Jacob thought about it for a minute.

"That time in the forest, you were talking to Edward." He said seriously, "You told me that you always needed a place to hide. Why?" Here was another thing I liked about Jacob Black: he always asked the right questions. And he remembered everything I said. I imagined he had a little vault in his head filled with 'Avelina Questions' where he noticed I said something strange and asked about it later.

"Well." I cleared my throat, the best questions were always the hardest to answer, "When I was human, my parents were crazy. Mad crazy, I'd say. My father's brother was institutionalized, that always travels by blood. But he never got caught because he knew how to put on a show, he was a people pleaser. But when Marjorie was born, he went over the deep end. He'd drink until he couldn't see, he'd scream at my mother to get out of his way, he'd march upstairs and open the door to Marjorie's room." I took a deep breath continued without looking at him, "I'd run over to Edward's house, we were the only people on our street. And back when I snuck in his window I could hear her screaming. She only wanted help, she didn't want to be scared, but I couldn't help her. And when I was twelve, when she died, he started on me. I'd hide at Edward's, or I'd stay there when he was drunk, or I'd go there to clean myself up. Whatever the reason, I always ended up at the Masen's. I always begged my mother to leave, to take me away. But for whatever reason she was convinced she loved him. I don't think she did but she was brainwashed into thinking that when he hit her, when he hit us, it was okay."

"I'm sorry." Jacob said quietly.

"Wasn't your fault." I said, trying to smile. He just looked at me with this sympathetic expression, I almost couldn't stand it. "Sorry, Jake. That was a long time ago, I shouldn't try to entertain you with stories that don't matter."

"But I asked." Jacob said. Good old Jake, how would I survive without him? "We'd better go back and see what's going on." He suggested, starting to climb down. I stayed, going back there was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment.

"You go ahead." I said, "I'll catch up in a bit."

"If you say so." He climbed all the way down before seeming to remember something. He turned and looked back up the tree. "Avelina?"

"Yes?" I called back down.

"That man, the one you loved, what was his name?" Jake asked. He always seemed to forget that one when he wanted a question, but that was okay. As bad as the rest of my answers seemed, I never wanted to give him that one.

"Sorry Jake." I said with a smile. "But you already used your one question."

* * *

**How did you like Avelina's POV? I didn't plan on it but I wanted to get inside her head for a while, and I took all of you with me! We shall return to Jacob in the next chapter.**

**I've been neglecting this for other fanfiction, show that this one is your favorite and**

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	12. I Make A Habit of Eavesdropping

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**Chapter 12. I Make A Habit Of Eavesdropping  
**

I walked to the Cullen house, my mind still on Avelina. Every passing day she gave me less excuse to hate her, I didn't want to hate her. She was a good person, she really was, but a lot of bad crap happened to her. Bad things happen to good people, I guess, which would make Avelina the best person in the whole freaking universe. I just walked through the front door when I heard something glass shatter in the next room. I stayed by the front door, they knew I was there but I didn't want to intrude, and I sure as hell didn't want to leave.

"What's wrong?" I heard Edward ask.

"You've got your nerve asking me that." Bella responded.

"Bella, what's going on?"

"Please, Edward! Stop acting like you don't know! Ever since that Avelina showed up you've been..." She broke off with an angry growl.

"Just calm down and explain."

"I was talking to Avelina, just now. Asking each other questions. Her eyes were brown, Edward, do you remember that?"

"I do."

"And her hair was brown, but it turned red in the sunlight. She was shy, you helped her feel better about herself, she blushed easily, she cried when she was angry, she was smart, she was pretty. And you wrote her a lullaby! Do you remember all of that?"

"Yes, I do." Edward answered slowly, looking for Bella's distress.

"You still don't know what's wrong?" Bella growled, "I use to have brown eyes. My hair turned red in the sunlight. I was shy, you helped me feel better about myself, I blushed easily, I cried when I was angry, I was smart, I was pretty. You wrote me that lullaby. Can you see it now? Can't you see why I'm upset?" Obviously, he couldn't, because Bella continued, "I'm just like her, I'm _just like her_! You knew her first, you did it all for her first. Can't you imagine how that makes me feel? I feel like a replacement! I feel like I replace your childhood sweetheart!"

"That's not true." Edward argued.

"Isn't it? Is that why you changed me, Edward? To keep her around longer? To keep someone like her around forever?" Bella asked in a dangerously soft voice.

"No."

"The only reason you like me is because I remind you of her! You loved her first!"

"Bella, listen to me very carefully." Edward said seriously, "That's not why I love you. I'm not interested in replacing Avelina in any way, she's a separate part of my life. And I wouldn't replace her with you, Avelina and I were friends, always just friends. I feel something completely different with you, I love you Bella."

"And you never loved her?" Bella asked skeptically. There was a pause.

"No." Edward said finally, "I never loved her. Not that way, not _this_ way. I changed you because I want to spend eternity with you. And sure, I've missed Avelina, she's my best friend. But you have best friends, you know how different it is." Well, she did now, I couldn't help but think about those times where she couldn't tell the difference.

"I don't want to be Avelina." Bella warned.

"And Avelina doesn't want to be you." Edward assured her, "You two are similar, and that's okay. It's the kind of thing that I'm most drawn to in someone. But remember that I chose to spend forever with you, and I lost Avelina a long time ago." He was smooth, I'd give him that. Honestly if I was a girl I probably wouldn't buy it, but there's a lot of things like that that guys say. A lot of it is crap, but I wanted Bella to feel better so I was actually hoping that Edward had made things better for her.

"I'm sorry." Bella said at last. Great, now that was sorted out I didn't want to be around for the awkward after fight stage. Might as well go give a relay to Avelina, who I guess knew it was coming, which was why she was hiding in that tree. I walked back to the tree and looked up, Avelina was still there.

"Back so soon?" She asked me as I started to climb up the tree.

"I'm guessing you knew about the Edward-Bella dilemma?" I asked. Avelina smiled and nodded.

"Sorry to send you in unarmed. So how'd it go?" She asked.

"Bella thought Edward was replacing you with her, she didn't like being second choice."

"Naturally." Avelina muttered under her breath, I didn't reprimand her.

"And then Edward went on about how he feels something different for her. He just likes a certain kind of person, that's you two. And then how you had a different relationship with him. He loves Bella and he lost you a long time ago. He stressed that you were just friends and then Bella asked straight out if he ever loved you and he said no."

"Well, I guess that settles it." Avelina said with finality, looking down at the black cowboy boots that she refused to take off. I watched her suspiciously.

"That hurt." I said. Avelina looked up.

"Hurt what?" She asked.

"Hurt you." I said, studying her, "You're fine with them being together, and that they love each other _now_. But it hurts you when he says that he never loved you."

"Never is a really strong word." Avelina replied, "And so is love."

"Strong is good." I said slowly, "So you're okay?"

"Of course I am. I always am." She said.

"It's okay if you're not." I told her, "You don't have to be okay all the time."

"Yes I do." Avelina said sadly.

"Why's that?" I asked, waiting to prove her wrong.

"Because since I became a vampire my existence has been centered on other people. My gift puts everyone else before me, I can barely even exist because there is nothing about me anywhere. I mean, my gift is helping other people, and it makes it impossible for me to settle down or form relationships or even be in one place for very long. I just _have_ to help other people, I can't do anything for myself. And sometimes I'm not okay with it, but I should be and I try to be. And even when I'm not, I'm still okay because I physically can't keep the selfishness in me. My feet keep taking me places, and sometimes I don't want to go but I still do. That's why I'm always okay, I have to be okay because no one cares."

"I care." I said. Avelina looked at me.

"That's nice of you." She said quietly. I watched her as she bit her lip and looked back down to her boot, "If it's fine with you, I'm going to not be okay for a minute." I nodded and sat silently. Vampires can't cry. Their bodies freeze, they don't cry, sleep, dream, eat, blink, breath, twitch. And up until recently I thought that meant they couldn't feel, at least, not the way we do. I never thought a vampire capable of love and compassion and pride and sympathy. Knowing the Cullens changed that for me, knowing Avelina changed it. Because as she ducked her head and her ringlets framed her face I could never accuse her of not feeling anything. Her teeth dug into her marble lip and her nose wrinkled up. Her amber eyes squinted as they should when people cry. With her face scrunched up like that I almost wished she was crying, tears take sadness from your body, I imagined not being able to cry is like not being able to sneeze, it builds and hurts and stays. With a sigh I moved around, switching branches and sitting next to her. With my right and I took her left and held it. She might appreciate it, she smelled like a vampire but lately I hadn't noticed as much, and her skin still burned mine but ice but when I took a deep breath it burned like muscle stretches, it felt good underneath the initial pain. We sat there for a few minutes while Avelina got the sadness out of her system, then she looked up at me. "Thanks." She said gratefully.

"No problem." I replied, giving her hand a squeeze. Avelina nodded and looked forward, we still didn't move. For some reason, I still wanted to make her feel better, I felt that she still needed cheering up. "I know you already know everything about me," I said, "But I suppose you could find a question for me?" Avelina smiled outright.

"One question?" She asked, I nodded. She sat thoughtfully for a few moments, I wondered what she actually did know about me. "Why are you still here?" She asked finally.

"Huh?"

"You were here to protect your friends, standing up for the Cullens. Well, now they're safe, and you're still here. You were so miserable here, and you meant to leave it after the danger was over, that much I know. But what I don't know is why you didn't, why are you still here?"

"Seth. He imprinted on Renesmee and he has to stay with her, we're a pack so we stay too." I answered. Avelina raised an eyebrow at me, she knew I was lying. She probably knew that originally I wanted Seth to go back to Sam, and then this wouldn't be my problem anymore. I wanted to leave, it was my plan from day one, before day one. So why was I still here? I wasn't quite sure. "I guess running away from your problems is harder than it looks." I said, "I kind of _want_ to be around. Everything is going well for everyone, everything is at peace. I want to see Renesmee grow up, I want to see her and Seth's relationship grow. I want to be around, you know? At first I didn't want to be around because all I could think of was myself. Well, and Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella. But lately, I haven't noticed it that much. I don't think about her very much anymore, she's not part of my pain anymore."

"Sounds like your over her." Avelina said.

"I guess, mostly." I said, but it also felt like more than that, "I feel like I always loved her for the sake of loving her, and lately I've been seeing her for who she actually is. She's still Bella, she's still my friend, but I don't _want_ her anymore. Actually, I'm having a hard time remembering why I liked her so much in the first place."

"Don't tell that part to Edward." Avelina advised. I smiled.

"Wasn't planning on it." I said, "I just don't really have enough reason to run away anymore." Avelina made an odd motion and her arm flew across her stomach. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"It my stupid gut." She answered. "It's telling me you're free from it, it's telling me that..." She trailed off.

"Telling you what?" I prompted.

"It's telling me...that I helped you. It's telling me that you don't need my help anymore." Avelina answered, sounding a little forlorn.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"It's wonderful."

"Then, what's wrong?"

"I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stay here." She said softly. So basically my case was closed as far as Avelina's gut was concerned. It made me sad, I didn't want her to leave, ever.

"Well, do you have a guess?" I asked.

"Not really. I'll stay as long as I can, I really will. And I'll come back, maybe. Every now and then I get some time on my own." She looked at me and brightened, "And who knows, maybe you'll need help again." I snorted, if I were ever to see Avelina again I didn't want a repeat of the first time we met.

"Thanks." I said. She squeezed my hand and then let it go. I started to climb off her branch.

"Are you coming inside?" I asked.

"In a bit." She answered. I shrugged and climbed off the branch, heading off to let the Cullens know that Avelina was probably leaving, wondering what they'd say.

* * *

**AH! Short again! No worries, next one will be good.**

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	13. My Best Friend

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**13. My Best Friend  
**

Edward heard me coming, I hate how he always knows what you're going to say before you say it. So by the time I got to the front door he was sitting on the couch, staring at the hands he had folded in his lap. The others were all stationed in various places around the room. Edward didn't look up when I entered the room but everyone else was looking at me expectantly so I thought I'd go ahead and say it.

"I was just talking with Avelina," I started, Bella immediately broke off eye contact, "And she was talking about how she may have to leave soon."

"Why?" Alice asked, shocked. Esme looked at Edward with a concerned expression, Carlisle rested a hand on her arm. I looked at Edward, not entirely sure what to say.

"Her gift doesn't let her stay in one place very long." Edward answered without looking up, "She basically goes into a trance when she's supposed to be somewhere else. She can't control it, and if she thinks that she isn't needed here anymore she won't be able to stop herself from leaving."

"But she's plenty needed here." Emse said forcefully.

"Not as far as her gut is concerned." I said.

"It's how she gets her information for what she's supposed to do." Edward clarified, "Her gut, which is actually her gift."

"She said she'd visit whenever she can." I said, watching Edward.

"Let's encourage that." Carlisle said, "We've got eternity, I'm sure we'll see her again." Well...I might not, but who's counting the werewolf anyway?

"She is." Edward answered my thoughts, he looked up at me with a torn expression, "You're one of the best friends she has ever had, I don't think she'll give that up very easily."

"Then it's settled, let's do something that will make her want to come back." Alice said simply, her eyes glazing over as she stared at something no one else could see. Edward's eyes took on the same look.

"That would work." Edward complimented.

"And that's where I lose it." Alice said with a sigh, coming back to reality, "I can barely see anything with all these werewolves around. I'm not complaining about you though, Jacob." She assured me quickly, "But I guess you came into the room so I didn't see much of her reaction."

"Her reaction to what?" Rosalie asked impatiently.

"To be made an offer for a home." Edward answered, "A serious offer."

"How do we prove that we're serious?" Jasper asked.

"Permanency." Alice said with a smile.

* * *

"You're not allowed to peek!" Alice sang happily, covering Avelina's eyes with her hands.

"And you don't trust me to keep my eyes closed?" Avelina asked with a smile.

"Not even a little." Edward answered appreciatively. It was just a day and a half after the plan was born and all nine Cullens, Seth, and myself were leading Avelina up the stairs and through the halls of the Cullen's large house.

"I don't like surprises." The subject argued.

"That's only because you never get surprised." I shot back, Avelina twisted her head in a vain attempt to rid her vision of the barrier.

"If I could see where you were I'd slap you." She said in my general direction. I chuckled.

"Really, Avelina, just calm down and let us show you you're present!" Alice instructed with enthusiasm.

"Gah." Avelina responded in defeat. The parade stopped outside of one of the bedroom doors.

"Okay!" Alice removed her hands and jumped back happily. Avelina took a moment to get her bearings and then looked at the door, raising one eyebrow in confusion.

"You're supposed to open the door." Edward advised quietly.

"I was getting there!" Avelina retorted with a laugh. She opened the door and stepped inside, looking around the room. The hardwood floor was freshly laid, a long white couch sat against one wall, a filled bookshelf on another. The wall opposite the couch was made of windows with a little cushion seat, an HD TV was in the corner. "Wow." Avelina said under her breath, she turned around to look at all of us crowding the doorway, "What is this?"

"This is your room." Alice answered promptly, she reached behind the door and took out a door plaque painted with gold and silver with an elegant script that read _Avelina's Room_.

"Why?" Avelina asked.

"Because we want you to come back." Seth answered, I smiled, Seth practically adored her and he'd miss her something awful.

"Come back?" Avelina repeated.

"When you go off adventuring, or whatever it is you do." Rosalie clarified, crossing her arms and leaning backwards into Emmet for support.

"We know you can't stay forever because there's places you have to go." He said, putting his hands on Blondie's shoulders.

"But we want you to know that there's a room here for you whenever you want." Carlisle finished. Avelina stared at all of us like we were from outerspace.

"Really?" She asked incredulously. Everyone nodded. Avelina looked around again, "I could get a hobby. I could learn to paint or something, we could put an easel over there, and a cabinet for supplies. I'd love to be able to paint, if I had time for myself." She cut off suddenly, biting her bottom lip again. I saw Edward's eyes snap to her, to Bella and Renesmee, then back to Avelina. Renesmee turned in Bella's armed and pressed her hand to her mother's face, that was how she communicated. Bella frowned, a little indent forming between her eyebrows and she shook her head the smallest amount. Nessie frowned too and started squirming and Bella tightened her grip.

"Jake, could you take her?" Bella asked me softly, the conversation was still going on around us. I took Nessie and she crossed her arms for a moment and pouted. I couldn't help but smile.

"What's wrong?" I asked. She reached forward and put her palm to my cheek, she sent me a picture of Avelina's face, then herself in Avelina's arms. I looked up to find Edward watching me. He nodded. "Avelina." I said, walking toward her. She lowered her eyebrows as I approached.

"No.." She started, looking at Renesmee.

"She wants _you_." I informed her, Nessie turned in my arms and reached out. Avelina looked around desperately, but everyone in the doorway watched her encouragingly (with the exception of Bella, of course). Cautiously, Avelina held out her arms and let me ease Renesmee into them. Avelina melted with Nessie in her hold, just like everyone else did. Her face relaxed into a smile as she looked at the little girl who was now beaming at her. Nessie reached out a touched her hand to Avelina, who didn't stop smiling.

"What'd she say?" Rosalie asked impatiently.

"Aunt Avelina." Edward answered, his voice soft with emotion.

"Doesn't look like you'll be getting your kid back." Emmet joked. At that Avelina seemed to snap out of her reverie. She looked around at all of us, then her room, then the girl in her arms. She looked a little overwhelmed, her mouth opened as though trying to say something, her head moved like she was trying to shake it. Finally she pushed Nessie off on Edward and moved to the door.

"Sorry." She said weakly before fleeing. I could almost see her dashing to the forest and climbing a tree or finding a clearing, I couldn't hear her or see her but it was something that I could expect Avelina to do.

"Oh dear." Esme said, staring after her. Nessie placed her palm on Edward's cheek.

"It wasn't you, you didn't do anything." Edward assured her before looking up at the rest of us, "She got a little...flustered. Give her a break, she's new at this."

"And what exactly is 'this'?" Jasper asked.

"Being around people." Edward held Nessie a little bit closer, "Having someone care about her."

"Maybe you should go talk to her." I suggested, Alice and Esme nodded in approval. Edward shook his head.

"No, that wouldn't help very much. Jacob, _you_ should go talk to her." He said, I took a step back.

"Why?"

"_You're_ her best friend." He said as though it was obvious. It was news to me.

"No..." I started to say.

"Go talk to her." Edward said sadly, "You don't have to believe me, just go talk to her." Best friends? Really? Huh. I turned and moved to the door, unable to miss the hurt and scathing look Bella sent after me.

* * *

"Talk." I said when I found Avelina, she was leaning against a tree, just to the side of the clearing we had talked in before. She turned her head away from me.

"Sorry, that was really embarrassing." She mumbled.

"Don't worry about it. No one will be offended if you explain." I assured her.

"I think Edward is explaining to everyone else right now."

"But not me. He sent me after you, he wanted me to hear it from you. Now talk." I planted my feet and crossed my arms, watching her expectantly. She turned back to look at me.

"That's never happened before." Avelina said quietly, "No one ever cared that much before. They gave me a room! They wanted me to stay around! It was wonderful but...so quickly I went from having no one to having so much and having to leave it behind. And I was holding Renesmee...this sweet little girl. I always wanted a family, you know. Edward didn't and now look at him, so much love in a man who never wanted anyone else in his life. And I'm so alone that I couldn't even remember what it felt like to have friends and family and love. It just kind of...hurt, I guess."

"At least you'll never have to feel that way again." I said.

"What?"

"You're all vampires. You live forever. You have all of eternity to come back and visit your family that will welcome you whenever they're able to see you."

"What about you?" She asked.

"I'd like to count myself in there..." I started.

"What's wrong?" Avelina asked seriously.

"I just...I might not be here when you get back." I said softly.

"Jake,"

"No, listen. You all live forever, you could take a long time to come back, how many years will that be? 20? 50? How old will I be? And the Cullens have to move around a lot, so you'll go visit them wherever they go." I looked down sadly, it was getting depressing, talking about never being able to see Avelina again. She stepped forward and took on of my hands in both of hers.

"Jacob Black." She said formally, "I _promise_ that I will be back to see you, and I bet it'll be before you age a bit. I'll come back and see you whenever I can, I have to, you're my...you're my..." She struggled to find the right word.

"Best friend?" I provided, remembering what Edward said. Avelina's face broke into a trembling smile, if she were human she would have been crying.

"Pretty much, yeah." She said weakly, "I'll come back to see you, but don't change. This time I want you to stay exactly who you are." I assumed she was talking about Edward, how they had once been best friends and then she came back years later to find him completely different.

"Okay, I promise." I smiled. Unable to help myself I scooped her up in a hug.

"Make sure you take a lot of pictures of Renesmee growing up." Avelina laughed as I held her, her feet dangling several inches from the ground.

"Of course."

"And keep Seth out of trouble."

"Sure."

"And try talking me up to Bella a bit."

"Maybe."

"Jake!" Avelina squealed playfully.

"Alright, alright."

"And don't let anyone forget me."

"Not a chance in the world." I said, setting her down, she just stood there and stared up at me with an unbelievably happy expression. Now that we were out of the woods with that crisis, I thought of a couple of things I wanted to say. "Avelina...?" I asked slyly, looking at her expectantly. She laughed and sat down, leaning against the trunk of the tree, I did the same.

"One question."

* * *

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	14. Do Not Wake Until 8 am

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**14. Do Not Wake Until 8 a.m  
**

"When Edward said he never loved you, I don't believe him." I said flatly, Avelina giggled, "So I was wondering if there was ever a time where you loved each other?"

"Such a complicated question." Avelina muttered, "Or rather, a complicated answer."

"Which is...?" I prompted.

"Once." She said, "I loved him once, once he loved me. Once he kissed me, once I kissed back, once he wanted me, once he turned me down, once I turned him down. Our relationship back then was based on a series of 'once's. Once upon a time." She laughed to herself.

"You _do _know that I want to hear the story about that, right?" I said.

"I grew up with a single boy in my life." Avelina told me, "Edward. And he grew up with only me. Sure, as he got older he got more...noticed. But he never left me, he never abandoned me for cooler or prettier or funnier. That was when I loved him. Sure there were times when we _liked_ each other as more than friends but for most of our lives we kept missing each other, but that was okay with us. We valued our friendship so much more than anything else. His mother always called us childhood sweethearts, which I guess is true. Anyway, when we were fourteen, that was when it really started for me. He walked with me to and from school, he stayed by my side throughout the day. He kept me safe from meaner girls and he always made me feel better about myself when I was hurting. Girls went after him, he was probably the most sought-after boy in the school, but he always turned them down, he never looked away from me. That was when I loved him; when he was so absorbed in me that he didn't see anyone else. Well, that was how _I_ saw it. But he never returned my feelings, so I acted like they weren't there.

"Then, when we were sixteen, there was a dance at school. Back then it was a big deal, we got one dance a year and everyone went. That year I was asked to the dance by a boy, Michael Greene, and I said yes. Edward talked my ear off for days and days, telling me all of the reasons I shouldn't like Michael, I just ignored him because I knew he wanted to ask Sally Parton to the dance. We walked together to the dance, and I left at a run. I should have known, Michael was never the nicest guy. In the end his asking me was a prank that would cover my new dress in honey and break my heart. Edward saw and followed me. I was so angry at myself that I really took it out on him, I hated him when he tried to calm me down. But he stayed with me, just like he always did, no matter how rude I was he followed me back and brought me into his house to clean me up. His mother gave me a robe and helped me scrub out my hair and my dress, I stayed there that night, turns out my parents weren't expecting me to come home anyway. We were lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he didn't say anything because he didn't want to hurt my feelings further, I didn't say anything because I was so embarrassed. Finally he said, 'You didn't have to go with him'. I counted it as an I-told-you-so, so I didn't say anything. He got frustrated and said 'Why did you do it? You know him! Why did you say yes?'. I said 'Because I didn't think anyone else would ask me'." Avelina smiled a bit, more absorbed in the story that I was (if that was possible), "And he asked, 'What's so wrong with coming with me? Just like everything else.'. And in my brilliance I just said 'You didn't ask'. 'I'm sorry he hurt you.' Edward had said seriously, still a gentleman, always a nice guy. 'I deserved it.' I grumbled. 'No you didn't.' Edward contradicted right away. 'Yes I did.' I answered, 'I only agreed to him because I thought you were going to asked Sally Parton.' Edward looked surprised, 'Sally Parton wouldn't go with me.'. He was so blind, and I told him so. I told him how much every girl in the school wanted him, and I asked him why he didn't notice, why he didn't care, why he didn't give _any_ of them a chance. That was when he kissed me."

"The same time you kissed back?" I asked. Avelina nodded, lost in memory. "So you two were on a bed, sixteen years old, kissing?"

"Yep." Avelina sighed, "Turns out it was a mistake, both of us had already turned each other down. I figured that he just felt sorry for me, he thought that I was desperate. I avoided him for a few days, and when we saw each other we couldn't say anything about it, so we pretended it didn't happen, like it wasn't there. For me it was still there, it always was, and I could tell he still felt it too. But why mess up a good thing? And that wasn't very long before the world ended, or our human lives, anyway. His mother got the fever, and then so did he. My parents were worried about it, and I've since learned that my father was on the run for armed assault. They took me to Europe, me and Edward never saw each other again."

"Until you had to find me." I corrected, "I'm sorry it didn't work out. And I'm sorry you lost your best friend. Someone that you were so close to, now you seem to hardly know him. You never go that family you wanted, and you lost your only friend."

"I found him eventually." Avelina said, she looked at me with an unexpected smile, a soft smile but a smile nonetheless, "And I found a new family, and a new best friend. People change, and that's okay. After all, I thought he was dead for those eighty-odd years, this is definitely a step up."

"It won't be the same here after you leave." I said sadly.

"It'll be like before I came." She assured me.

"No. It won't. No way will we ever be able to go back. We'll miss you, you'll just have to hurry back."

"As fast as I can." Avelina complied, "I'll miss you guys too." She looked up at the sun which was disappearing quickly, "It's getting late." She was right. Damn. I didn't have a curfew, but I felt bad for keeping my dad waiting up for me.

"I guess that means I'm expected at La Push." I said, standing. Then I looked back down hopelessly, "What was his name?" Why was I always forgetting to ask that? She just smiled. "I know, I know." I said, holding up my hands in surrender. As I turned away I muttered, "Already used my one question."

* * *

Sometimes it seemed like the rest of the world was blind, sometimes it seemed like Avelina was the only person who made sense. One time I caught her watching Seth play with Renesmee, she was frowning in concern and looking at the rest of the room as though surprised they weren't upset too. Edward flinched, you'd think that by now he'd tune out Avelina's thoughts since they always got the best of him.

"What was up with that?" I asked her as we took a walk to the river later.

"Up with what?" She asked, stopping to pick up a smooth black stone.

"Back there, with Seth and Renesmee."

"I guess I just feel bad for them." Avelina studied the stone closer while I tried to make sense of her.

"Why? I mean, they're meant for each other, that's what imprinting means."

"Well, if Seth is destined to imprint on Renesmee they both got jipped." She said flatly, clenching her fingers lightly around the stone and bringing it to her side so she could carry it without crushing it.

"What makes you say that?" I demanded.

"Look, I know everyone's happy about it and everything, but in reality... Seth won't last forever." She frowned, "He's still basically human, he's mortal anyway. Nessie isn't, she'll grow quickly and then be frozen in time just like the rest of us. They'll be happy then, but someday Seth with have to stop phasing and start aging again. She'll be young as he withers away before her very eyes, 60 years, 80 years. I know they're meant for each other and everything, but it can't last for eternity. And what will Nessie be like when he dies? What will anyone be like?" Put that way it was obvious, but how could no one else see it?

"How do you know all that?" I asked, "Phasing and aging. And Nessie, we haven't been able to figure out what will happen to her."

"Gut." Avelina grumbled. I sighed, she was still right.

"I don't know." I said as we reached the river, "I guess it's up to you to find out someday."

"The joys of immortality." She said sarcastically, she threw the black stone and it skipped across the river and landed on the other bank.

"Show off."

* * *

"Jake. Psst. Jake, wake up!" Someone hissed. I grumbled and rolled over, looking at my bedside clock.

"It's three in the morning!" I groaned.

"I know, but it's really important." The voice near me said, I sat up, shaking my head to rid my brain of sleep. Avelina was in my bedroom. My bedroom in La Push...a vampire.

"How did you get here?" I demanded.

"I met Sam and Quil at the boundary." Avelina said, perching herself at the edge of my bed, "They agreed to let me see you if they were escorts. That was okay because I didn't know where you live anyway. They're standing outside the door now just in case."

"What's so important that you have to go into enemy territory and wake me up a three in the morning for?" I asked grumpily. She just sat there, twiddling her fingers and staring at her feet. "Well?" I asked again. She looked up and met my eyes.

"I'm leaving." She said ruefully. I didn't have a comeback so she continued, "I don't know where yet, and I won't know how long. I'll send you a postcard, I'll send you a postcard from anywhere I go. And I'll be back as soon as possible." My brain was moving like cogs covered in sludge.

"I..." I started, trailing off when I found I didn't have a way to end the sentence.

"I haven't told anyone, just you. Keep it under your hat for a day or so, don't tell anyone and don't phase so Seth won't find out and tell everyone. I want you to tell them that I said goodbye."

"Where are they?" I asked, slowly starting to think again.

"Hunting. I mostly hunt on my own and stayed behind, but now I have to leave. I was always worried that I'd leave without saying anything, and even though they're not around I refuse to let that happen. Tell them that I say goodbye, I'll write. I'll be back as soon as I can." She stood up and started to the door, Sam and Quil were on the other side, waiting to escort her from La Push, "Goodbye Jacob Black."

"Wait!" I called out before she could disappear, "What was his name?" She turned back and surveyed me with an indecisive look. She hadn't promised me a question, she didn't have to answer, I might not have remembered to ask her when she came back. "Please, Avelina. Just one question. What was his name?" She backed slowly to the door and rested her hand on the frame for a moment, I could tell she was getting ready to leave.

"His name was Jacob." And then she was gone.

* * *

**THIS ISN'T THE END OF THE STORY! But it is taking a short break. New chapters will return soon. Basically this is like an end to Part 1.**

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	15. My First Postcard

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**15. My First Postcard  
**

It was weeks before I heard from Avelina again. Several long, bleak, gray, eventless weeks. Without Avelina nothing exciting happened, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing surprising, without her everything settled into a routine. No one thing ever happened twice when Avelina was around; things were always new and always interesting. I don't know, maybe I'd become spoiled from the excitement of life on vampire territory. Technically it was my territory now, too. The treaty had been revised so that Seth, Leah, and I could stay on the Cullen's land and have it be officially ours. It made Seth almost unreasonably happy so Leah and I are happy for him and we're sticking around.

Bella had gotten a much better attitude after Avelina left. She smiled more, she laughed more, she did a lot of things more and enjoyed it more. Unfortunately, no one else felt the same. Even though she hadn't been around very long, all of us felt a big gaping hole where Avelina should have been. Everyone put on their brave faces and carried on but the atmosphere was marred by her absence.

I was barely even paying attention anymore, I went through the days on autopilot, not seeing or hearing anything. Routine was just so boring to me that nothing stood out anymore, there wasn't anything that could possibly hold my interest. I assumed that I took her leaving the hardest. After being so confused about her considering me her best friend I never really stopped to consider that the feeling was mutual. Sure, Bella still thought she held the title and acted the same old way. I still liked spending time with her and everything, but she had become bland and downright merciless lately. What kind of best friend could she be if I couldn't even talk about my problems to her? Sure, she didn't care too crazy much before as far as I could tell, but now I couldn't even mention Avelina without getting snubbed. It just so happened that Avelina was the biggest problem in my life right now, it was a secret and I doubted my problems with her would go away before she came back to visit.

About two weeks after she left, I received a letter from Avelina. On the front was a picture of Big Ben, on the back was a quick note in small, neat handwriting that I instinctively recognized as Avelina's even though I'd never seen it before.

_Jacob Black,  
Cheerio and all that! I'm kidding, saying that makes me look ridiculous. Anyway, I've been here in London for about a week. Have you ever been to England, Jake? It's nice out in the countryside. And London is pop culture gone wild, you'll really have to see it someday. This mission is actually disappointing because I'm overseas helping an old man clean out his apartment. He's a bit of a pack rat and may very well never see the light of day again unless I get him to move on with his life, which is proving very difficult so…wish me luck! Also, I'm sorry about dropping the word "Jacob" on you right before I left, you're not mad, are you? You told everyone else that I was leaving, and saying goodbye? But, of course, why am I asking? I'm sure you did. I'm running out of room on this adorable little post card so I'll talk to you later. For now you can write me at the return address, I fear I'll be here a while. If it misses me I'll have it forwarded.  
Hoping to see you soon, Avelina_

It was good to hear from her. Actually, it was better than good, it literally made my day. At least…until I thought back to the day she left, when I had to tell the Cullens goodbye for her. I had waited a couple days, even though I didn't understand why that was so important to her. I walked through the woods to the Cullen house, it was a quiet Sunday morning. The sun was out as it rarely was, and the rising sun casts little beams across the forest floor. It was such a beautiful morning that I didn't have to try and control my thoughts to keep from giving away my news too early. My mind was completely engrossed in the moss that grew on the trees, the birds that were singing in the branches, the light that glowed off of the green leaves and the dew drops on the grass. I guess I'm a sap now. Joy. But when I got to the door, I slipped in a thought about the goodbye, and by the time I opened it Edward was waiting in the hallway.

"She's gone?" He asked quietly, I nodded in response.

"Who's gone?" Alice asked suspiciously from the living room. Edward and I returned to the living room and stood in front of the Cullens.

"Avelina." I answered. I heard Carlisle sigh, placing his arm around Esme's shoulders.

"She had to go sometime." The Doctor said to the room at large soothingly.

"That was quick." Alice sniffed.

"She came to see me the other night," I said, looking down, "She had to leave while you were all hunting. She wanted me to say goodbye for her."

"At least she got the message to us." Esme said.

"She's been thinking about strategy for a while," Edward said, "She didn't want to leave without a goodbye."

"I feel like she just got here." Alice said as she curled herself up on the couch next to Bella and Nessie.

"I feel like she was always here." Rosalie disagreed.

"How strange." Carlisle mused.

"What?" Rosalie snapped.

"Avelina's gift." Edward explained, "Every vampire gift is uncontrollable, but Avelina's is on a completely different level."

"See, Alice and Edward's gifts can be used at will or ignored at will. Avelina's takes over her so that she can't make her own decisions. She doesn't control what she does, where she goes, or even what she says." Carlisle said, "It's very interesting."

"It's something." I muttered, not in a particularly outstanding mood.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle said to me, "Will you, Seth, and Leah still be staying around.?"

"Of course he is." Bella said at once, "You are, right Jake?"

"Yes. This is our territory." I said.

"Thank you for bringing us the news." Esme said.

"She'll write." Edward said, as much to me as to Esme, "She likes being part of a family." That made Esme smile proudly. There was an awkward silence.

"I have to go." I said uncomfortably. I moved into the hallway and headed for the door.

"Let us know when you hear from her." Edward said after me.

"Sure." I called back before closing the door behind me.

I got a post card from Avelina every few days after that, and so did the Cullens. So we made sure that we wrote her back.

_Avelina,__  
Someday I'll get around to going to England, and the rest of the world, for that matter. To tell the truth I've barely been off the reservation, never farther away than Forks or Port Angeles. I told the Cullens goodbye for you, you're welcome. No, I'm not mad at you. I was just surprised, is all. It's really none of my business, you didn't have to answer me, you know. Everyone misses you around here, we can't wait for your next visit. Doesn't sound like you're having much fun. I actually feel really bad for you. Cleaning is a pain, and I complain when my dad tells me to clean my room, now you have to clear out a whole apartment! Bummer.  
Keep in touch, Jacob_

_Dear Cullen Family,  
I remember hearing that Carlisle is from England, I've never been here before but now I'm in London! Unfortunately, I'm not having much fun yet. I have to help clean a packrat's apartment, isn't that a letdown? But still, I get to travel abroad, so it's exciting to me. Hopefully I'll make it over for a visit the next time I'm in the states. How is everyone over there? Has Nessie grown much? Keep me posted!  
Avelina_

_Avelina,  
We were very excited to receive your postcard. Make sure you get time to sightsee while you're in London, it's an experience. We're sorry to hear about your current assignment. On the bright side: it shouldn't take long with your vampire strength and speed. We're all fine, same old, same old. We all say hi and we miss you. A visit would be great whenever you're in the area. Nessie has grown a few inches, you'll have to see it for yourself.  
Stay well, The Cullens_

_Jake,__  
Great to hear from you! I actually sighed when I read your letter. I'm very glad you feel that way. Things are going well over here, as well as can be expected, anyway. This old man that I'm helping? Yeah, he's a total pain in the rump. I've never met someone so exasperating. Every time I try to help him he refuses and comes back with an insult. He's a little like you when we first met. I'm kidding, he's worse. I don't want to talk about it. Hope things are well with you and I hope I can get out of here soon.  
Avelina_

_Cullen Family,__  
It would make sense if this was over with quickly, but the hitch is I have to get the old man to agree to everything I do. I can't throw anything away without his say-so, and he'd notice if I went against his wishes. Horrible, right? Fortunately I think I'm almost done here and will be out within the week. And hey, this is nothing compared to how long I spent in Washington.  
Avelina_

_Jake,  
You'll never guess where I am now. Egypt! It's very lovely here, but it's sunny so I have to be extra careful. I'm actually working part-time at an archeological dig. I'm not sure what we're looking for, but it'd better be good. The good thing about being a vampire is that I don't sweat anymore. Unfortunately, I can't say as much for everyone else on the dig. It's probably tedious. I'll take picture for you, and when you get them make sure to let everyone else see them too. This one has the potential to be a lot of fun!  
Avelina_

_Avelina,  
Glad to hear you're having fun, which is more than I can say for myself. You know how school and werewolves can be; bleak. Anyway, the pictures you sent are great, the Cullens enjoyed them too. I have to warn you I'm pretty sure they're framing half of them, be prepared to see them around the house when you get back. I found the pictures of the old guy's apartment in London were really funny, but it's good that you got some sightseeing done. Speaking of sightseeing…hope you get back soon.  
Jacob_

Avelina when from London, England, to Egypt. From there she went to Cannes, France (for what she said was the third time in her life, then somewhere in the amazon. After that she was in Maine for a few days, but she didn't have enough time to come visit before she was off again. She said maybe next time, and I was holding her to it.

* * *

**Yes, it's short. But the next one is really, REALLY good. I like it, it's one of my favorites. It'll be up soon.**

**Sooner if you**

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	16. DaVinci

**(Psst! Did you read chapter 15? - )**

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**16. DaVinci**

**AVELINA**  
Florence, Italy. I'd been to Rome before, but I was just passing through, no sightseeing for me. I'd also been to a little town up in the Northern part of Italy, that wasn't for very long either. Now I was in Florence, I was in paradise. The trickiest thing about visiting places like this is the sun; there were a lot of sunny days in Italy, so I had to be careful. I went out as much as I could on cloudy days. But when I had to go out on sunny days I dressed in pants and boots. I'd put on dark sunglasses and a big sun hat, not to mention a shawl. My secret weapon was to wear a lot of jewelry and make myself look wealthy, that way if something slipped it would just look like I had another set of diamonds instead of sparkly skin. Aren't I clever? My second day in Florence was cloudy so I wandered the streets, trying to find out what my gut wanted me to do. I couldn't help but be amazed by the city. I brushed past countless Italians as they walked casually through the European-styled streets. I loved the alleys that were for walking: no cars allowed. I loved the orange roof shingles and the yellowed walls. I ended up in something that looked like a fancy post office, I didn't know for sure because I wasn't exactly paying attention; I need to work on that more. So I walked up to a small window where a woman was sitting with some paperwork.

"Excuse me, Miss?" I said in Italian, she looked up, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I didn't notice what building I just walked into?"

"This is the registration building." She answered, looking amused, "We are now enrolling, are you interested?"

"Yes." I said without thinking. As soon as my brain caught up with my mouth I thought: _What am I registering for?_ The woman pulled up some paper work for me and passed it through the window.

"Fill this out. Write your name and the courses you would like to take. You can start immediately." She looked back down at her paper work. I took mine and sat down on a bench in the lobby, looking down at the registration sheet I had in front of me. It was titled _Scuola Leonardo da Vinci_. Leonardo De Vinci University. Nice. I signed up for the first course offered and took my sheet back to the woman at the window. She looked it over.

"So you're from America." She observed, "You're accent is very good. If you weren't so pale I would have believed you to be Italian."

"Thank you." I'm always open to praise. She handed me a schedule, apparently my first class was that evening.

I still didn't know what exactly I was doing in Florence, or why I had just enrolled in art school. After I left the registration building I picked up a post card and sat at a café table to write a message to Jake.

_Jacob-_

_As you can tell, I'm currently in Florence, Italy. I just got here, but it's sunny! You'd like it. I've just enrolled in an art course at the Scuola Leonardo Da Vinci. Which is basically translated the Leonardo Da Vinci University. I don't know why, so wish me luck! Hope things are good with you and the Cullens._

_Hope to see you soon, _

_Avelina. _

I tucked it away in hopes of finding a post box to drop it in later.

* * *

I had signed up for a Drawing and Painting class, that evening I took a seat in front of a blank canvas, several were placed in a circle around the room, all of them facing center. I looked down at the tool tray in front of me; there were pencils of all shapes and sizes, pastels, erasures, charcoal pieces, and rulers. A girl sat on the stool next to me and I glanced over at her. She was young, I couldn't tell how old at a glance, my modest guess was late teens to early twenties. Her skin would have been pale, but sun had colored it to a pretty tan color. If I had to say what color her hair was I would have to call it blond. In truth it had streaks of every shade of blond through every shade of brown, right up to dark chocolate. They were natural streaks, making her multicolored hair shine under any lighting. Her face was a little plain, but her eyes were exquisite under her particularly long lashes. They were like fireworks, green and gold fireworks against a hazel sky. Her eyebrows were arched and she had a birth mark at the corner of her left eye. She was dressed casually in an old white T-shirt and paint-splattered overalls. She had taken off her sandals to let her feet go bare. She wasn't wearing makeup, she wasn't wearing nail polish, and her beautiful hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. She was skinny, she had skinny limbs, a tiny waist, and a flat chest. I kept examining her, even though I didn't know why, it wasn't like she was especially interesting. After a couple of minutes she turned and caught me staring.

"Hi." I said to her in Italian, trying to cover my awkward gawking.

"Hi." She said slowly, also in Italian, I obviously hadn't fooled her, and she was worried.

"I was wondering, is that your natural hair color?" I asked quickly. Her hand went to her hair and her face quickly melted into a friendly expression.

"Yes, it is. I don't know what color it is."

"It's lovely." I assured her, "All brown and blonde and streaked."

"Is your hair naturally curly?" The girl asked me, adjusting herself in her seat so she could face me comfortably.

"Yes."

"Sometimes I wish my hair was curly, it's so pretty." She eyed by curly locks ruefully.

"Don't. It's a hassle." Or so I'd heard. I mean, I was a vampire, my hair was automatically pretty. I never have a strand out of place. "I'm Avelina." I introduced myself, "Avelina…Cullen." I caught myself by surprise. I had never called myself a Cullen before. I was usually Avelina Masen…not to be creepy or anything, but my last name used to be Klovitch. Yes, Avelina Klovitch. Avelina Masen just sounded better, so sue me. Anyway, the Cullen sounded really nice on me. I only hesitated for a millisecond while trying to think of what surname to give this girl, I doubted that she'd notice. As it was, she didn't. She took my offered hand and shook it.

"I'm Hayden Bailey." She said.

"So you're American." I said in English, she looked surprised.

"What gave it away?" She asked.

"Your accent." I said, I couldn't help but smirk.

"Yours is really good." Hayden grumbled, crossing her arms, "I thought you were Italian."

"It's a gift." I said, grinning. Not to mention decades of practice. "Young American girl, what are you doing in Italy?"

"I'm renting a loft in the city." She said, "And I'm not that young, I'm nineteen years old."

"Me too." I said. Okay, so technically I was 111 years old. But I was frozen in time at the age of seventeen. I figured that nineteen was a good place to split the difference. "But what are you doing here alone in Italy?"

"I'm a patron of the arts." Hayden confessed, "I came here for the art school, I got a scholarship. Plus I grew up in a really small town, I'm hoping I won't have to go back there. Ever."

"What kind of art do you like to do?" I asked her. I don't know anything about art, and I didn't know why I was so curious about this girl, I just felt like I needed to talk to her. I was probably here to help her. Hayden leaned over and opened up her rucksack, pulling out her sketchpad and handing it to me. The first picture I saw was a pencil sketch of a sparrow in a tree. It was a close up picture of the branches, the bird looking off through the leaves; I could see the sun streaming through the leaves in the pencil shading. "You're really good." I complimented. I turned the page to see a colored pencil drawing of a water lily in a pond, complete with pond scum. The next was a pencil sketch of a meadow covered in wild flowers. I flipped through the rest of the book; roses, turtles, poppies, trees, frogs, meadows, bees, leaves, a snail. It looked like Hayden just went outside and drew whatever she saw, I respected her for that. "I'm really impressed." I said as I handed the sketchpad back to her. To tell the truth, I was more than impressed, I was completely blown away. Hayden's drawings were so elaborate, even though most of them were only pencil scratches.

"Thanks." She said, wiping a loose strand of hair out of her face as she replaced the pad in her bag.

"Would it be corny if I asked you where your inspiration comes from?" I asked.

"Yes." Hayden snickered, then she blew out some air and thought about the question seriously, "Everything I see. I go outside and everything is so beautiful, I love the outdoors. You should see some of my paintings; I love painting flowers and animals. Heck, I'll paint just about anything if it stays still for long enough! But I love the outdoors, I love everything about it. I sometimes wish…" She trailed off thoughtfully.

"You sometimes wish what?" I pressed.

"I wish I could capture everything in my art. But I can't put the smell of the wind in my painting, I can't put the feel of grass in my sketches."

"The point of art is to remind us of things. People should see your painting and _remember_ all of those things. That's what makes browsing such an experience." I said, turning forward as the instructor stepped to the center of the circle.

"Wow." I heard Hayden muttered before she too turned to look at the instructor.

* * *

"Where are you staying?" Hayden asked as we packed everything up after class, "Maybe we could get together for lunch sometime."

"I'm actually not really staying anywhere." I said, "I've been hotel hopping, you know?" Hayden looked at me with raised eyebrows, shocked. I shouldn't have told her that, I should have made it up. I'm a vampire; I didn't need to stay anywhere because I can wander around day and night. I hadn't even set foot in a hotel since I got to the city. Hayden slung her sack over her shoulder and came to stand next to my stool as I continued to pack. She looked at my canvas.

"Wow." She said again, leaning closer, "You're really good." I looked. It was a pencil sketch of the bowl of fruit that was sitting in the center of the circle. I shrugged, I thought hers was better, mine was so artificial, hers had heart. I know that didn't make any sense, but that's where I stood on the matter. "You should come stay with me." Hayden said suddenly, I looked up at her.

"What?" I asked. She sucked in a deep breath before continuing.

"The loft has an extra bedroom, I was planning on looking for a roommate anyway. This would just save us both a couple of steps."

"But you don't even know me." I pointed out. Really, what was she thinking? For all she knew I could have been a blood-sucking monster. Oh wait…

"But I like you." Hayden said, shuffling her right foot around, "Please?"

"Are you sure?" I persisted.

"I'm sure." Hayden answered kindly, putting a hand on my shoulder. I picked up my bag and followed her out of the building.

On the way to see her loft I spotted a post box.

"Hold on." I told her, rushing off to the box and dropping Jake's post card in.

"Your family?" Hayden asked.

"Nope. Just a friend." I said.

"Do you have a family?" Hayden asked. I thought about that for a beat. I already told her my name was Cullen.

"Yes." I said finally, "I have a big family, and they care about me very much. I have these adoptive parents, they're the sweetest souls. They take a lot of us in, you know? Carlisle and Esme are their names. And then there's my oldest brother, Emmet. He's married to Rosalie. My sister Alice is married to Jasper. And, don't tell them I said this, but my favorite brother, Edward, just recently married a really nice girl. Her name is Bella. They've got a little girl, my niece, and her name is Renesmee."

"That's really nice." Hayden said. I couldn't quite bring myself to smile.

"I'm still getting used to it, it's kind of recent." My new roommate nodded sympathetically. "What about you?" I asked, "Do you have a family?"

"Not really." She answered. "My mom died before I even met her. My dad died in a plane crash when I was nine. My grandmother raised me after that, but she died about a year ago. I've been on my own ever since."

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't be. I mean, you had to lose your family first too, right? You said they were your adoptive family."

"Yeah." I whispered, "My family died a long time ago."

"So, who's your friend?" Hayden asked, nudging me with her shoulder.

"His name is Jacob." I said, I felt my face effortlessly break into a smile.

"Oh?" Hayden asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah. Jacob Black. He's my best friend; I think you two would get along."

"How long has it been since you've been with them?"

"Two months." I sighed.

"Ouch."

"Yeah."

"Do you miss them?" Hayden asked.

"I really do. I can't wait to get back to them." I admitted.

"How long?"

"I don't know yet. Not too long, I hope. And I told Jake that I'd be back as soon as I could."

"He's counting on you?"

"We're counting on each other. I miss him."

"I wish I knew the feeling." Hayden said, staring at her feet as we shuffled along the backstreets.

"You've never missed anyone?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, my dad and granny. But I've never had a chance to miss someone that I could get back." She said. Here I was in Florence with this girl that just told me outright what her problem was, I assumed that was my current purpose.

* * *

**Hayden Bailey, created by/dedicated to my friend JillyBeans (Evelyn Of The Copper Isles)**

**Tell me what you think of her (seriously!)  
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	17. Cohabitation

**SHE'S GOT MY BLOOD RUNNING COLD**

**17. Cohabitation**

**Avelina  
**I stepped into Hayden's loft and looked around, whistling. The place was beautiful. The wall opposite me and the one on my right were painted a sunny orange, while the other two walls were bright yellow. The apartment was very happy, on the left I saw the upstairs, there were three doors behind the wooden banister. All of the floors were hardwood except for the kitchen (which was really just an area on my left), which was tiled black and white. The chairs in the living room in front of me matched the walls. There was a window and an alcove on the left, underneath the second floor. On a stretch of wall in the kitchen there was a painting of an old tree house, nestled in an oak forest. It was painted from the ground's point of view, I felt like I was looking up at it. I leaned forward and searched the corners of the painting for a signature, but all I found was the scrawled initials "HB".

"Hayden," I said, "did you paint this?"

"Yeah." Hayden walked up beside me, "It's one of my favorites. That hideout was in a forest next to my Grandma's house, it's been there since before I can remember. The rope ladder disintegrated a long time ago, so no one has been up there in ages. But it makes it seem undisturbed."

"You've got a way of capturing light." I noted. Being a vampire, I obviously don't spend a lot of time looking at the sun, or being in the sun. I can't study the way it moves across trees. Hayden, though, she had it down to a science, she even reminded me a bit of the sun. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked suddenly. Hayden blushed as she shook her head.

"No, I don't. Why?" She asked. It was my turn to shrug. "The extra room is up here." She lead me up the stairs and into the far room. It was small and plain with a bed and a desk. "Sorry there isn't a dresser."

"I don't have a lot." I pointed out, "I live out of my backpack a lot of the time." Hayden nodded in understanding before leaving me to "unpack". I plopped my bag next to the bed and sat down, looking out the window. For the first time in my life, I was overwhelmed with the desire to go home. I shook my head, feeling ridiculous. I never had a home, I never wanted to be anywhere. But I was in Florence and all I could think about was that rainy town of Forks. Actually, I hadn't even been in the town. Just those woods, just that house. I laughed aloud as I thought about the Cullens and Jacob, they'd turned me soft and mushy. Thankfully, I felt like I wouldn't be away from them for too much longer.

* * *

Hayden and I prepared for class the next day. Outside it was mostly cloudy, but there were several gaps that sent down a spotlight of sunshine. Hayden pulled a light-weight jacket on over her usual paint-splashed overalls and t-shirt. Then she looked at me. I was dressed carefully in my black pants and cowboy boots. I wore a green turtle-neck sweater, black leather gloves, and a black and white sunhat.

"It's not very cold out." Hayden said as she eyed my wardrobe choice.

"I know, it's the sun." I smiled, "I have a skin condition and it's very sensitive to sunlight."

"Bummer." The girl said, offering no further questions. I smiled a bit wider, Hayden was pretty easygoing, that was a good thing. She seemed to take things in her stride, maybe someday she couldn't even find out about...I pulled up short. I couldn't think about revealing vampires to humans! Where did that come from? I shook it off and followed Hayden out to the streets.

In class, we spent a lot of time sketching things out with pencils and charcoal, but after a couple weeks our instructor told us to pack up our easels and stools and follow her. We all trooped out to the outskirts of the city and set up before a line of trees, the beginning of a small forest. We were in the shade of the trees, the instructor turned to us and clapped her hands.

"Now. We've come here to put your skills to the test." She said in Italian, "I want you all to paint the forest, but don't just paint the literal version as it is now. When I look at your painting, I want to see you _you_ see." I was set up next to Hayden, she was already mixing her blue and white. I took a second to look around my canvas at the forest. The treeline was about 75 yards away, the sun was glittering against the upper canopy, but that's not what I saw. I was more captivated by the dark spaces between the trees. They were dark (to human eyes, at least), and anything could be hiding just beyond the line of view. When I was a human, I was afraid of the dark. After becoming a vampire, dark stopped existing, and there was nothing to fear. But that made me think: if I were still afraid that something was lurking in the dark, what would scare me? There weren't many things that worried an immortal, except... the image exploded in my head, I knew what I was going to paint. I had to be deliberately slow, moving the brush up and down with painful slowness, trying not to be suspicious. Black, green, brown, red, black. I continued with the mixing of my colors for several hours. The sun had all but faded when the instructor ordered us to stop and allowed to pack up.

"Let me see yours." I said to Hayden, stepping next to her.

"It's not-" She started, but I ignored her and peered at her painting. She went into detail with the tree trunks and leaves. Everything held a hint of light, it glowed. The air between the trees was mystical, unidentified sparkles littered the canvas. It looked like a forest from a fairytale, home to fairies, pixies, unicorns, and other magical creatures.

"Wow." I complimented, I looked past the canvas at the treeline again, "That's really what you see when you look at the forest?" Blood colored her cheeks.

"Yes. I love light and its patterns."

"I noticed." I commented.

"What did you see?" She moved to my canvas and froze, her eyebrows drawing together. My painting was very abstract. I used shapes without shading, though I colored each shape a different color to give the appearance of light. But the truth was, my picture was very dark. I had painted a few trees, and black was between them. But, stepping out from the darkness, was a massive wolf. The head, breast, and right leg was all that was visible, the rest of the creature was still hidden in the darkness among the trees. The wolf was russet red and dark brown, it's yellow eyes peered out of the painting darkly. It was the complete opposite of Hayden's painting, I guess you could say we have different points of view. "It's a lot different than mine." Hayden said finally, "The trees make you think of wolves?"

"Of a sort." I shrugged, picking up my bag.

"Have you ever seen a wolf?"

"Yes, have you?"

"No." Hayden shuddered, "That sounds really scary. Weren't you scared?" I thought back to the first time I saw Jake, Seth, and Leah as wolves. They could have killed me easily if they had wanted to, I remembered Leah growling and pawing at the ground, I remembered Jacob measuring me up as a wolf would its prey. I didn't think Jacob would kill me...but that wolf didn't look like Jake, and I didn't see much humanity in his eyes.

"Yeah, a bit." I finally answered. My human friend yawned.

"A day of painting really tired me out." She smiled at me wearily, "Let's get home and get to bed."

* * *

I pulled the small portfolio case out of my backpack and placed it carefully on my bed late that night as Hayden slept. I'd had this thing for several decades, almost my entire vampire life. I had several painting in here that I carried around wherever I went, some I had lost along the way. I rifled through the canvases and pulled out one of the oldest, it had always been one of my favorites.

It was a picture of four children in simple, white, 1930 outfits. The tallest was a girl, her head was held up proudly, her black curls were held back by a plain blue ribbon that matched her sash, her green eyes were serious and determined. Around her neck she wore a silver lock, in which I imagined were small paintings of her family. Her small hand (since she was only twelve or so) was perched on her brother's arm. The boy was just a bit smaller than her, his face the same, oval shape and skin the same shade of cream. His hair, though, was brown and slicked back. The bottom of his shirt was untucked on one side, leading me to believe that he had grass stains on his knickers and his older sister had to hold him down while his hair was being attacked. His brown eyes looked playfully out of the picture, and while the other children were plainly being serious, he looked like he was suppressing laughter. His sister's other hand was placed on a smaller boy's shoulder, a boy placed directly in front of her. He only came up to her breastbone. He had on a white vest with a gold pocket watch dangling from it, no doubt some sort of inheritance. His brown hair was parted in the center and he stilled obediently to his sister's touch, green eyes patient. The las child was another girl. This one was blonde, her hair cascading around her shoulders with a bow matching her sister's on the back of her head. This little girl was the princess, the pride and joy. Her brown eyes expressed nothing other than pure innocence, a legitimate joy of life. While her other siblings were world-weary, this little girl only saw the good in it. She played outside with her brothers, signified by the minuscule freckles on her nose. And she'd help her sister in the kitchen so that one day she would make a good wife.

This was my first painting after hearing that Edward had been killed by the fever. And looking at it made me sad.

Worse than that these children had died, they had never existed. These were my children. Maryanne, Neven, Joshua, and Evangeline. They were the family I once dreamed of having with Edward. Yes, I had painted about it. I'd made a creepy family portrait of children with our mixed traits. I had wanted this family so badly. I never got it. I looked at these children that I loved so much. Always this picture had taunted me, my children stared at me accusingly. Wondering why I had abandoned them. Odd how you can feel guilty over something that never happened, disappointing something that had never existed. But now I looked at these children, and I saw that they didn't hate me.

I didn't have to feel guilty about never having the family I wanted. I had the family I wanted right now, in the Cullens, and I couldn't wait to get back to them.

Painting a picture of my imaginary children. It seemed pretty silly now. I needed to stop mourning what I couldn't have and accept what I _did_ have. I had adventures a every corner, I traveled the world and got to help people. I had a best friend to talk to, I had a family to go home to. Immortal life wasn't that bad at the moment. And I should be grateful for that. I hadn't been this happy with life since...I felt a hand squeeze my immobile heart as I thought about Jacob, _my_ Jacob, the man that I'd loved, the man that I murdered. With him, I felt that it was worth living forever because if I hadn't died that faithful day, I never would have met him. After he died, however, immortality became a joke. But if I hadn't become a vampire, I never would have reunited with Edward, and I never would have found a family. I didn't need these children to make me happy. I _was_ happy. With decision, I grabbed the portrait and stomped from the room. Well, almost. At the door I paused and looked back at the bed where my portfolio was still laying. I hesitated before returning to it. I set the portrait I was holding back on the bed again and rifled through the portfolio once more.

I pulled out my other favorite picture, even though it was one I never looked at. It was a painting of Jacob Sacremento, the love of my life. I remember our time together so well, it could have been yesterday. We spent twenty years travelling the world together. He was so young when I found him, fresh out of school and ready for adventure. I had been selfish to let him give up his life for me. But I didn't care, I wanted to be happy, and knowing that he was happy made me feel better. He'd posed for this painting when he was 22. It was 1980, we'd been together for three years, and we were sitting in our hotel room in southern California. His straw-blond hair was in need of a haircut and his bangs sprawled across his forehead. His brown eyes sparkled in his tan face, his mouth turned up in a half-smile. I smiled as I remember that day. He was trying to be serious, like the severe paintings he saw from my time, but he kept laughing. And when he laughed, I would laugh too. He hadn't shaved yet that morning, and I had painted him in such detail that I could count his whiskers. He was wearing a simple blue shirt and a brown leather jacket with the collar popped up. He thought he was _so_ cool when he did that, I laughed at him daily because of it, be he absolutely adored that jacket. So much so that I buried him with it.

As I continued to stare at the painting, my sorrow began to grow, as it always did when I looked at it, which is why I hardly did. I missed him every day. Even when I wasn't thinking about him, I missed him. And that couldn't be helped. He was a big part of my life and he would always be a part of me. But I couldn't hold onto him forever. He was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. Jacob would never want me to mourn him. He'd want me to live, and continue having adventures as a way of avenging him, he was funny that way. The damage my heart had suffered at his death was keeping me from moving on and loving the Cullens, Jacob Black, and even myself.

No matter how hard it was, I had to let him go.

I grabbed both paintings and left the loft quickly and quietly. I ran as fast as I could, until I was in a forest miles and miles away from Florence. I put down some kindling and started a small, contained fire (since I wasn't planning on burning anything down). Once the flames were orange and crackling, I steeled myself and picked up the pictures. With gritted teeth, I threw the family portrait onto the flames. I hesitated, looking at the picture of Jacob. This was a picture of a real moment that I had lived and could never get back, it was very special to me. But I didn't need it anymore. With harsh decision, I threw that picture on the fire too, and I watched as they both went up in smoke.

* * *

The next morning I came down the stairs to see Hayden, still in her pajamas, with her face shoved into one of the couch cushions.

"Hayden?" I asked gingerly, at a loss. Hayden's head snapped up and she looked at me, her unbrushed hair falling in tangles around her shoulders. I smiled, Hayden Bailey was so _cute_.

"Do you smell smoke?" She asked nervously, picking up another pillow and sniffing it.

"No." Yes. I hadn't thought to get the smell of my impromptu bonfire off of me before returning. The smell of smoke was strong to my vampire nostrils, but I didn't think Hayden would notice.

"Well, it must be my imagination, then." Hayden looked puzzled, but stood and went to get ready for class.

* * *

On the last day of class I walked home with Hayden. She was taking careful steps backward on the street curb as I walked next to her. The class had been four weeks long, Hayden and I enjoyed every minute of it. But I was starting to feel like it was time for me to go, even though I didn't think I'd helped Hayden at all.

"What are you going to do now?" Hayden asked, checking to see if anyone was behind her.

"I'm going home." I said without thinking about it. And, for once, I thanked my gut for speaking for me.

"Back to your family?"

"Yeah." I watched her for a beat before asking, "What about you?"

"Dunno." Hayden shrugged, losing her balance for a moment but catching herself in time, "I'll probably just stay here. I have the loft, and I don't know where else to go."

"Come with me." The words were out of my mouth before I knew what was happening. I wanted to take it back, I had no idea what my gift was thinking but bringing Hayden back to the wolves and vampire was a flat-out _bad_ idea.

"Really?" She asked, her bizarrely-colored eyes were wide as she looked at me.

"Of course." My mouth said, but my head was screaming _NO_!

"I guess that could be fun. Sure." Hayden hopped off the curbed, turned to face me, and smiled toothily, "I can't wait to meet your family."

Ugh. How to make the most of this?

* * *

**So, I finally got around to writing a chapter. But, guys, I need to hear from you. **

**Kay?**

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